New Year, New Outlook – Fulfillment Beyond Goals

I remember this time last year, I was really struggling to start the New Year out right with a positive, can-do attitude. Things have been challenging for us financially and it hangs over my head like a cloud. Additionally, we have an amazing list of initiatives. Each one seems the most important when it is the one in focus, but this most important one gets shoved aside when the ‘next most important one’ comes into view. Talk about how to eat an elephant! It is easy to say, “Just eat it one bite at a time,” but it is quite another thing when that immense carcass is looming. Focusing on each bite and taking responsibility to preserve the carcass so we can eat it is a real challenge.

These thoughts were how I started my day, overwhelmed, challenged, and despairing. I just had a dream about someone on life-support to top that off. While eating breakfast, I had finished reading the paper. I began reviewing our book Transformed! to prepare myself for media and the book launch. We had quite a bit lined up and I remember I was going on Coast to Coast, a nationally syndicated late night radio show for three hours on January 10 and 11, 2013.

It was then that I read the section on recognizing our deeper yearnings in our book. We say to list goals and ask ourselves why we want that goal and what we hope it will do for us. We begin by communicating to ourselves, “I want this goal so that ________.” Our book directs us to keep digging until we find the deeper yearning beneath it.

I told my wife Judith about the irony of how much I needed these words right then and how I needed to practice what we preach right now by focusing on my immediate yearnings. Judith asked me a few revealing questions and I clearly was fearing pain and problems in the future and failing to choose full aliveness in the moment. Judith helped me further clear some stinking thinking that was going on in my head and it was really great. I recognized my desire for greater financial solidity and student flow is in order to have more fulfilling contact and joy.

I was missing that contact and joy in the moment right then. My day has been significantly different since then as I work on my next transformation—whatever that is. We know this since real transformation isn’t something we plan but something that emerges and is discovered—way beyond goals.

So, here is my outreach and contact—wishing you all the joy of the season and a life full of realized yearning that inspires you to engage in ways that reveal your next most radiant self and help you to the greatest contact and service.



Do you want to take your New Year resolutions and fulfill them? Download Two Free Chapters of the award-winning book Transformed!: The Science of Spectacular Living and start making life goals that fulfill you.

How to Stop Stinking Thinking When Sick

I’ve got the respiratory infection that is going around: fever, coughing, and huge fatigue. It’s frustrating because I’m not up to doing the zillions of things that I always do. I pulled it together to do a TV interview hoping I wouldn’t cough during the interview and relieved when I staved it off! I also did a radio interview where I kept pushing the mute button intermittently to hide my coughing. I’ve had to reschedule my coaching appointments, meetings, consultations and arrange for others to cover my classes.

So now, I’m just left with me. In bed. Sick. Feverish. Tired. Listless…but my mind is still really active, thinking…

What value do I have if I am just in bed? I’m worthless unless I’m doing something. I’ve got to go to work …

Then my husband, Bob, just told me he loved me. I heard myself thinking: How can you love me if I’m not doing anything? So, I asked him and he responded with a smile, “I love you just for being here. You are the sweetest little being that I know, even when you piss me off. Right now you don’t piss me off; I just want to hug you.”

He’s helping me re-program my mistaken beliefs about myself and my value, which is what we call Rematrixing. All that stinking thinking I have such as I’m not valuable if I’m not doing something comes from my mistaken beliefs about myself.

One of the categories of stinking thinking I am most prone to is called emotional reasoning: I feel bad so I think I am bad. When I am sick and feel bad, I’m especially susceptible to this form of stinking thinking. I realize I need to take this message in: I am valuable and lovable. I matter. I don’t have to earn love. These are the thoughts that I need to let in. I repeat them to myself as a mantra, imagining Bob’s loving expression as I say them, soaking it in.

The more I can feel the positive thoughts, to let them settle deeply within myself, the more I can Rematrix these positive beliefs. The more conscious I am as I do this, the more these thoughts will become my beliefs.

All of a sudden, I am relaxing and actually thankful that I am sick. Being sick is a good reminder that I am valuable, I am lovable, that my being is as valuable as my doing. Hmmm, I think it’s time for my nap now… ZzZzZzzz



Do you want to know how to rewire your brain to stay positive event when you’re sick? Download Two Free Chapters of the award-winning book Transformed! and learn how Rematrixing can help you reach more daily personal satisfaction.

Zig Ziglar – The King of Sales – Passes Away

The reigning king of sales support and inspiration for generations has passed away today. Zig Ziglar was the “can-do” coach to millions via audiotape, CD, Video, and live presentations. Author of many books from See You at the Top in 1975  to 2012’s Born to Win, Ziglar was a Nightingale Conant cornerstone who motivated many a sales pro in their car on the way to sales success.

Ziglar was a fast-rising star in the Positive Mental Attitude movement founded by Norman Vincent Peale, Napoleon Hill, and W. Clement Stone. This group was openly preaching human potential—a possibility that required no Secret. They birthed a movement that has since been proven by current neuroscience and our research presented in Transformed! The Science of Spectacular Living.

No mumbo jumbo purveyor, Ziglar’s practical approach to human possibility led to positive visions that have guided so many to fulfill their career potential. Let’s celebrate his life by stretching our vision of human potential to all areas of life—especially coupling and parenting. May his life and work be an inspirational rung on the ladder to human potential for which we all yearn.


Wonder what potential you haven’t tapped into yet? Download or order the award-winning book Transformed! and see what living a spectacular life could be for you!