Wanderlust: Too Soon
to Travel Together?

Who doesn’t love vacation?! Whether exploring a new city or town, or hiking through an eco-adventure, it’s so exciting to add to our life experience, connect with different people and cultures, and open our eyes to new encounters.

Read this post if you find yourself wondering…

  • Is it too soon to travel together with my partner or significant other?
  • Am I ready to travel with my new boyfriend/girlfriend?
  • We’ve been together a while, should we “test” our relationship by seeing if we travel well together?

If you’re dating someone new or even if you’ve been in a relationship for a while, you may be wondering, “Is it too soon to travel together?” Either way, the question of travel is pretty inevitable. From a friend’s destination wedding to discount cruise tickets you just can’t pass up, the chance to travel will arise at some point—and sometimes sooner rather than later.

While you may love traveling alone or with friends, traveling with a significant other can be a whole different experience. You may be wondering, “Is there a certain point we should reach in our relationship before we’re ‘ready’ to travel together?” Or even, “Is there a timeframe when we should plan to travel, just to see if we travel well together?”

In reality, just like there’s no such thing as “the one” or “rules” in dating, there’s no hard and fast rule about when you should travel together. Some dates lead to travel plans that very first weekend. Other couples might not have the desire or opportunity for vacation until months or even years into their relationship. It’s about knowing what you’re comfortable with and understanding a few things about the vacation mindset.

Sharing an Escape from Reality

Vacations are new experiences, where our regular habits and routine don’t apply. While this is an awesome time for learning, growth, and exploration together, it can also give us a false sense of how our relationship is “back in the real world.” Let’s just say it can sometimes be hard to see clearly through vacation euphoria or vacation stress.

When vacation euphoria takes hold, everything seems almost magical. We’re suddenly without the stress of everyday life with all its complicated conflicts and emotions, and we’re no longer confined by our routine and restrictions. Instead, we’re experiencing each moment anew.

This vacation high is very exciting and different, but it can also be a challenge to explore your true feelings about each other when you’re in this adventurous state. On vacation, we might connect in ways that don’t completely apply “back in the real world” where we have bills to pay, work to deal with, and a myriad of other things on our plates.

Into the Unknown Together: When It Gets Real

On the flip side, think back to your last long car trip or extended layover at an airport. Chances are, it wasn’t your favorite memory. Traveling together can be stressful—you’re navigating in a new place, deprived of sleep and jet-lagged, and charting unfamiliar territory. After three or four hours in a car, everything can seem amplified, and even your favorite person in the world can grate on your nerves. Stress may cause us to revert back to considering if it is, in fact, too soon to travel together, while you’re already well on your way!

It’s hard not to be upset when someone forgets the map or tickets, or you find out your flight’s been delayed and you’re going to miss a connection. No one reacts well in these situations, so don’t view these as make-or-break “red flag” moments. Give your relationship a little space from this stress before passing any major sweeping judgments.

Vacation provides an extended period of time together where you can pick up on interactions you might not get to see during “normal” dates. Certain personality traits and interactions can be amplified. It’s also a great time to explore your own reactions and feelings to different things that occur in the vacation environment. For example, you may be surprised at the thoughtfulness or kindness you notice in your date when he or she interacts with new people (or you may be dismayed when the opposite happens).

At the same time, in this “artificial reality,” you might notice certain interactions and traits in your partner and wonder why you’ve never seen them act that way in your day-to-day life together. It’s good to make note of those things as well. You might find the person you’re with becomes very different when they’re away from home.

Exploring, Dreaming & Doing—Together!

Vacation can also create time for that dreamy space where you can imagine your future together. Vacation can help you understand how compatible the two of you are in terms of embracing new experiences. Instead of wondering if it’s too soon to travel together, talk to your partner and ask how they imagine their ideal vacation.

If one of you likes a laidback country trip with lots of nature and outdoor time, while the other prefers a busy city trip with food, culture, and museums, it might not be a deal-breaker, but it can mean you’ll have to find other people and different ways to fulfill those travel preferences. Maybe you’ll plan an occasional “culture weekend” with a friend instead of your significant other, or go surfing with your buddies instead of your girlfriend. Maybe you need to take a trip home, but sometimes it might be best to go alone and spend time individually with your family.

Even on vacation, it’s ok to plan some alone time for yourself, if you or your date prefer an occasional break. It’s important to be cognizant of the fact that everyone needs a little downtime, even if you’re head-over-heels for each other. You may have to establish some boundaries and be sensitive to each other’s yearnings and needs, as vacation often means a concentrated amount of interaction with each other. Listen to the cues your partner is putting out and don’t hold back to establish your own needs and boundaries.

No matter what happens, vacation is a really great time to engage, embrace conflict and really get to know each other. You might not get along perfectly, but it can be a great time to explore and understand your boundaries and how you interact in a different environment. Use this as another opportunity to unlock who you are and what you want out of your interactions and life experiences.

Listen to this episode here on BlogTalkRadio or here on iTunes.

Let us know how your dating is going! Tune in to our podcast every Wednesday to talk about dating, relationships, and how to bring out your best self. To continue the conversation on engaging with others and to discover ways to bring out your best self, click here to learn more about our next More Life Training.

Liked this post and want more? Sign up for updates – free!


About the Author

rachel-zwell

Rachel Zwell is one of the core coaches in the Year of Transformation program. She is an emergence coach specializing in empowering individuals to increase their fulfillment and satisfaction in their lives, to achieve their professional and personal goals, and to develop their leadership skills. She coaches and mentors people to develop self-awareness, vision, strategies, and to build skills in social and emotional intelligence. She believes in full engagement and aliveness, and trains people to see and overcome the barriers that prevent them from living fully.


Wright Living is a division of the Wright Foundation for the Realization of Human Potential, a leadership institute located in Chicago, Illinois. Wright Living performative learning programs are integrated into the curriculum at Wright Graduate University.

Relationship Real Talk:
Playing the Waiting Game

Are you playing the waiting game in your dating life? In your relationship? Do you ever just wonder what are you really waiting for?


Read this post if you’re:

  • Waiting for her to call
  • Waiting for him to text you back
  • Waiting to make the next move
  • Waiting to commit or settle down

 

Maybe you went out on a few dates with someone and then suddenly *poof!* they disappear…and you’re left waiting and wondering if they’re ever going to call you again. It’s true that some relationships just end without much discussion or fanfare and we don’t get the closure we want or need. It can leave us feeling unsettled. We don’t have the opportunity to express our feelings or grievances and that can leave us with some unresolved issues.

What about in your relationship? Maybe you’re feeling some distance in your relationship, but you’re not sure why. How much of this is natural and how much is a form of “ghosting” within the relationship? Are you emotionally withdrawing because you can’t gain control in the relationship? Or are you feeling pushed away? Deep down, is it really fear of commitment?

Many times we go into relationships and dating with preconceived notions. We tell ourselves, “I’m afraid of commitment,” or “I’m not good at expressing what I want in relationships.” We call these limiting beliefs.

When we go into relationships with these limiting beliefs, we end up acting out a self-fulfilling prophecy. Things go exactly as we expect them to…because that’s exactly what we set ourselves up to expect. We believe we “are” a certain way and that belief gives us permission to behave accordingly. Holding onto these limiting beliefs can feel safe and comfortable (even if it’s not getting us what we really want).

When We Don’t Get the Gift of Closure

When a relationship ends without the gift of closure, it’s our job to work through and resolve our own feelings and conflicts about it. We can gather lessons and takeaways about our behavior and our contributions to the relationship—but remember: we only have to take responsibility for and own up to the stuff that’s ours. Relationships are a two-way street. Chances are, if someone walked away without saying why or just stopped calling, well, there’s some baggage of their own they need to work on, too.

Here’s where our seven rules of engagement can really help us learn more about our relationships. (You can learn more about the secrets to a happy relationship that no one ever taught you in our book, “The Heart of the Fight.”)

Two of these rules really come into play in this situation:

  1. We are each 100% responsible for our own emotions, feelings and satisfaction in any relationship; and
  2. We can each only take on 50% of the blame in any disagreement because, hey, it takes two to tango.

As we work through what happened, we have to own both what we brought into the relationship and the times when we held back. Were we really engaged with the other person? Did we express the things we truly wanted and fully jump in? Were we true to ourselves?


Sick of playing the waiting game?
Now is your chance to build lasting, healthy relationships.

Reach out to our experienced relationship coaches
to discover how to bring out your best in every relationship.


Dating is a great opportunity to measure and examine our interactions in a variety of situations. We can learn, “Hey, this is what I hope to get out of relationship, this is what scares me, and this is where I tend to shut down,” and then we can work on how we can accept our reactions and work on expressing our needs better in the future.

We can also see the times when we had different expectations or desires than the other person. If one of you wants a picket fence, a house and three kids, and the other one wants to travel the globe…well, there’s a fundamental difference that may just mean the two of you want different things out of life. It’s totally fine to move toward what you want and strive for your own goals while seeking a relationship that can help you achieve and accomplish those things rather than stand as a barrier.

Playing the Waiting Game when Commitment is the Question

Sometimes we reach the point in our relationship when things start to get serious. Many of us may experience a tendency to pull back a little or balk at the thought of being “reined in.” Once we’re in a relationship, we might feel we’re losing freedom or even a part of ourselves. We might feel like there’s the expectation that we have to change or be something we’re not.

The best relationships allow us to be our true selves. The best relationships are great because they bring out the best traits and strengths in both parties. If you find you’re scared of committing to a relationship, you might need to explore what’s not being met within that union.

Is there a reason you’re holding back? Are you listening to your limiting beliefs, such as, “I’m not the relationship type,” or “I don’t do well when I’m committed to one person”? Is there more to your apprehension?

Explore why you aren’t ready to jump in. If you find some genuine incongruences, then they need to be addressed. If you’ve had the hard conversations and expressed the things you want out of life and you’re still holding back, maybe you need to examine if you’re clinging to preconceived notions of what a relationship is (restrictive, holding you down) and let go of those beliefs if you find them to be untrue.

Whatever you learn from dating, it can be a great opportunity to explore some of these larger questions about ourselves and how we work with and interact with other people. There’s a great chance to find out new things about who you are and what you want from a relationship. Do the work and you’ll enjoy the benefits.

 

Listen to this episode here on BlogTalkRadio or here on iTunes.

Let us know how your dating is going! Tune in to our podcast every Wednesday to talk about dating, relationships, and how to bring out your best self. To continue the conversation on engaging with others and to discover ways to bring out your best self, click here to learn more about our next More Life Training.

Liked this post and want more? Sign up for updates – free!


About the Author

Rachel Zwell

Rachel Zwell is one of the core coaches in the Year of Transformation program. She is an emergence coach specializing in empowering individuals to increase their fulfillment and satisfaction in their lives, to achieve their professional and personal goals, and to develop their leadership skills. She coaches and mentors people to develop self-awareness, vision, strategies, and to build skills in social and emotional intelligence. She believes in full engagement and aliveness, and trains people to see and overcome the barriers that prevent them from living fully.


Featured image “Worried Girl” courtesy of Ryan McGuire licensed under CC by 1.0. The original image was altered for this use.

Wright Living is a division of the Wright Foundation for the Realization of Human Potential, a leadership institute located in Chicago, Illinois. Wright Living performative learning programs are integrated into the curriculum at Wright Graduate University.

Matchmaker, Matchmaker?
Avoiding the Awkward
First Date

At some point in our dating lives, all of us have run into “the great fixup.” Whether your aunt works with a cute single guy or there’s an awesome girl who happens to live in a friend’s building, if you’re on the dating scene you’ve certainly heard, “So, I know this person who I think would be perfect for you…” at least once or twice.


Awkward first date alert! Right? Well, maybe…

If the thought of being set up makes you cringe, that’s totally understandable. Dating setups can feel awkward and uncomfortable. If your friend sets you up, there may be some unintended feelings of obligation. You may feel that if it doesn’t work out, things might get even more uncomfortable further down the road. Now that you’ve taken a dip in your own social pool, you may even imagine awkward post-date encounters at a friend’s dinner party or get together—so cringe-worthy!

But it doesn’t have to be that way!

It’s time to get past all that awkwardness. It’s time to rethink the fixup.

Fixed Up By a Friend: Is It Really So Bad?

Let’s reframe. If you use an online dating service like Tinder or OkCupid, you’re essentially trusting an online matchmaker. But think about it: Would you really put more stock in an online personality test than in a trusted friend’s matchmaking abilities? I know, I know, it does depend upon the friend in question. Maybe your matchmaker friend isn’t the “Fiddler on the Roof” variety, but if you’re open, honest and authentic with your friends in your everyday life, they’ve probably seen you at your best and at your worst—so they just might be able to successfully set you up. It’s worth a shot.

Yes, you might feel vulnerable or just plain weird when you give your friend the OK to make an introduction. Just remember: good friends will typically suggest someone aligned with your values, who wants the same things out of life you do. Hey, your matchmaker friend doesn’t want to make things uncomfortable either! Yes, there might be hits and misses, but chances are, the Venn diagram of shared social circles isn’t a bad place to look for possible connections.

Birds of a feather flock together, so you and that “friend of a friend” will probably have some similar interests and compatible personalities. Not only that, but your friends might already be past the initial “tall dark and handsome” first impression, so they can help you see into the deeper, more meaningful stuff of great relationships.

How To Turn Any Awkward First Date into Fun Experience

First of all, shake off the mindset that a dating fixup looks pathetic or desperate. Most of us pride ourselves on our ability to engage with others and we enjoy the idea of meeting new people. But whether you enjoy meeting new people or not, anyone can have a hard time asking for a fixup or accepting a dating setup from a friend.

But dating doesn’t have to be awkward! Try this…

Instead of looking at your fixup like an inevitably awkward first date, think of your upcoming encounter more like a business networking opportunity. At a business networking event, you often express your values, engage in conversation, and try to find commonalities to make a connection. Many of us go into business networking conversations with the hope we’ll find someone who shares our positive intentions and is looking to elevate themselves and grow in a business sense. We want to meet new customers, clients and peers who are going to build our business network.

In dating, your approach doesn’t have to be any different. In fact, the importance of approaching your date with curiosity and openness can often be even more vital in a dating setting, because it’s about more than just “making a sale.”

You can even look at dating as a whole in this way! Have you ever been approached by a business contact with an invite for coffee or a request for an introduction? Of course. But have you ever thought that person to be super-lame for asking? Of course not! Because when we’re approached to make a connection in the business world, it often comes naturally.

Think of your dating life in the same light.

Treat dating like an awesome playground! It’s a chance to really meet new people, engage with others on a new level, and grow as a person as you experience your reactions and interactions with a myriad of different people in a bunch of different settings.

So if there’s someone who seems interesting to you and you’d like to know more, by all means GO FOR IT! The worst that can happen is you’ll meet someone who’s not exactly a love connection—but now you can add another person to your connections and network.

When YOU’RE the Matchmaker

What if the tables are turned and YOU have the chance to play matchmaker or give advice to a friend? Interestingly enough, when we receive unsolicited advice, even when it’s well-intentioned, most of us rarely listen.

When we train coaches and undergo leadership training, we learn that most of the time “giving advice” should generally be avoided, even if it’s wonderful advice. Most people need to be steered toward finding the answer on their own. So keep that in mind when you’re advising your dating friends: you can’t argue them into the direction you want them to take or push them into dating a person you think they’d be perfect for.

Instead, put the idea on the table and help your friend seek out their own direction and answers. Similarly, if you’re trying to figure something out, look for those who have similar goals and who are working toward the things you want. Ask them how they got there and follow your own epiphanies.

What works for one person may not work for another. There’s no set red flags when dating and there’s no rules—a deal breaker for you might be just fine for another person. Instead of applying a set of “rules” or limiting your interactions because you’re trying to follow a specific path, allow yourself to work within the here and now. Keep a growth mindset and approach each situation as a learning opportunity.

 

Listen to this episode here on BlogTalkRadio or here on iTunes.

Let us know how your dating is going! Tune in to our podcast every Wednesday to talk about dating, relationships, and how to bring out your best self. To continue the conversation on engaging with others and to discover ways to bring out your best self, click here to learn more about our next More Life Training.

Liked this post and want more? Sign up for updates – free!


About the Author

rachel-zwell-2

Rachel Zwell is one of the core coaches in the Year of Transformation program. She is an emergence coach specializing in empowering individuals to increase their fulfillment and satisfaction in their lives, to achieve their professional and personal goals, and to develop their leadership skills. She coaches and mentors people to develop self-awareness, vision, strategies, and to build skills in social and emotional intelligence. She believes in full engagement and aliveness, and trains people to see and overcome the barriers that prevent them from living fully.


Featured blog post image “Stops for a while” courtesy of Flickr user Seika licensed under CC by 2.0. The original image was altered for this use.

Wright Living is a division of the Wright Foundation for the Realization of Human Potential, a leadership institute located in Chicago, Illinois. Wright Living performative learning programs are integrated into the curriculum at Wright Graduate University.

Going from Dating to Relationship : 3 Life-Changing Concepts for Connecting

Each date we go on is like a new social learning opportunity. Every date, from the best to the worst is a chance to find out something new.


Read this post if this sounds like you:

    • I’m interested in going from dating to relationship, but I want to have great dates and find the right person.
    • I want my dating experiences to help me learn more about myself and how to have a healthy relationship.
    • I’d like to learn more about better living and how to find true love and happiness.

 

We often look for some sort of formula to apply: “Ask this question on the second date,” or “Never talk about your previous relationships until at least the fifth date.”

Those who are regular readers of our blog know there are NO hard and fast rules when it comes to dating, except to be honest with yourself and engage. Dating is actually a cool playground for personal development and growth. It’s a chance to learn who you are, what you want, and how others perceive you (or how you hope they perceive you).

Dating is also a great chance to let go of our limiting beliefs and explore the things holding us back. It can help you gain a greater and deeper knowledge of yourself and build your confidence and social opportunities.

#1: It’s Time to Let Go of “The One”

Many of us have been raised with this Cinderella/Prince Charming mentality: there’s ONE person out there for us. This is reinforced by romantic comedies, books, and unrealistic portrayals of relationships in the media. This leads to a scarcity mentality and the feeling we might “mess up” our only opportunity by a single misstep.

Thank goodness this is a myth! It’s so freeing to know there are many people out there you might connect with. If one situation isn’t right and you’ve put forth your true and honest self, then you can sleep well at night, knowing you’ll have plenty of opportunities in the future.

The most important takeaway is to be true to your yearnings, and to who YOU are.

So often, we find we hold back at first because we’re nervous about being honest and then being rejected. When he doesn’t call, we ask ourselves what “we” did to scare him away. Did we talk about our parents too much? Was it because we mentioned marriage, or children, or “taboos” like religion or politics?

The truth is, if he didn’t call and you were honest with your interaction, then it just wasn’t a good fit for the time. You can’t change someone at their fundamental level or trick them into being interested. That mentality will only lead to bigger problems and shortfalls down the road.

#2: Accentuate the Positive!

In “The Heart of the Fight,” Drs. Bob and Judith Wright discuss the Rules of Engagement and how couples can productively engage in conflict. These rules of engagement can be applied in other areas of our life. (Hint: it’s not just for couples.) They’re important for singles and those who are dating as well.

One of my favorite rules of engagement? Accentuate the Positive. Each interaction you go into, you should enter with an open mind and an open heart. Maybe it won’t be a love connection (or even a “like” connection), but you can always find positive aspects of humanity in each person (even if they’re kind of a jerk).

If they are a jerk and there’s nothing immediately positive about the connection, then reframe it into a great learning opportunity to see how YOU deal with jerks. It’s a chance for you to call them out on their jerky behavior and let them know why you didn’t like it. What a great moment for growth and self-exploration!

It can be hard to get into the growth mindset after the disappointment of a crappy date, but in truth, you learn even more when things don’t go as planned. You can explore the takeaways you gained from the situation, and you can rest easy knowing you were honest, it’s over, and you don’t regret placating him or suppressing your own feelings.

#3: Express and Agree with the Truth—Always!

Another rule of engagement is you must express and agree with the truth, always. This can be difficult. So often in conflict, we get in a tit-for-tat war where one person says, “You’re this way,” and we say, “No, I’m not ALWAYS this way—there was one time….”

Instead, step back; acknowledge that in almost every criticism or conflict there’s an underlying nugget of truth. It’s okay to still be bothered by it. It’s okay to say, “You’re right about this, but it really pisses me off that you said it.”

Finding the truth in conflict is a great opportunity for growth. Maybe it will lead to a deeper connection and a better date. Maybe you’ll find yourself going from dating to relationship. Maybe it will lead to the realization that the person you’re dating is fundamentally different and you’re just not connecting. Either way, it’s perfectly fine. It’s really all about the fun and excitement of dating and learning new truths and new things about ourselves.

Your deeper connection starts with you. It’s about allowing yourself to be vulnerable. We’ve all been there, and it’s not easy. It takes a lot of bravery and strength to be comfortable with yourself and share with another person.

Each time something doesn’t work out, there’s also a tendency to apply it to a formulaic way of thinking: When I talk about this, it doesn’t work, so I shouldn’t bring it up. Some of us might lean back on our limiting beliefs. We start to train ourselves to hold back more and more.

It takes a lot of bravery and strength to pick up, brush off, and overcome this mindset. However, once you find the strength, it will propel you forward to a more comfortable place. Be accepting of who you are and put it out there on each date.

To learn more about how to be yourself, find love, and get what you want out of your dating life (and life in general), click here to learn more about our next More Life Training.

Let us know how your dating is going! Tune in to our podcast every Wednesday to talk about dating, relationships, and how to bring out your best self. Listen to this episode here on BlogTalkRadio.

Liked this post and want more? Sign up for updates – free!


About the Author

Rachel Zwell

Rachel Zwell is one of the core coaches in the Year of Transformation program. She is an emergence coach specializing in empowering individuals to increase their fulfillment and satisfaction in their lives, to achieve their professional and personal goals, and to develop their leadership skills. She coaches and mentors people to develop self-awareness, vision, strategies, and to build skills in social and emotional intelligence. She believes in full engagement and aliveness, and trains people to see and overcome the barriers that prevent them from living fully.


Featured blog post image “couple” courtesy of Flickr user Wyatt Fisher licensed under CC by 2.0. The original image was altered for this use.

Wright Living is a division of the Wright Foundation for the Realization of Human Potential, a leadership institute located in Chicago, Illinois. Wright Living performative learning programs are integrated into the curriculum at Wright Graduate University.

Getting Real:
It’s OK to Be Yourself
on a First Date

Read this post if this sounds like you:

  • First dates are hard!
  • I want to explore the world and meet new people.
  • Sometimes it’s not that easy to “just be yourself.”
  • I want to get more out of my dating life.
  • I want to more real human connections in my life.
  • I want to be ready to really get myself out there.

Remember MTV’s Real World? The tagline always went something like this: “find out what happens…when people stop being polite…and start getting real.” Time to get real. Let’s talk about the “real world” of dating.


 

How often have you psyched yourself up for a first date by getting into the mindset that you’re going to put your best self forward? BUT, are you really putting your true self out there? OR are you actually psyching yourself up to trick or dupe the other person into believing you’re that someone they want you to be?

Ok, so everyone puts on a bit of a show on any first date. Most of us wouldn’t show up un-showered and in sweatpants, ready to spend the night showing off cellphone pics of our cat. However, six months or a year down the road, there’s definitely going to be a Sunday afternoon where you find yourself on your couch in those pants, looking at pictures of Mr. Fluffers. Reality happens…eventually.

So WHY do we work so damn hard to hide it at first?

I’m not just talking about the silly sweatpants scenario, either. On a first date, we may think, “I’ll order something healthy, so he’ll know I’m a healthy eater,” or “I’ll talk about my promotion at work, so she’ll know I’m a hard worker.”

We’re striving to be a version of ourselves we think the other person wants, but really, shouldn’t we just let our freak flag fly?

When do we stop being polite and start getting real? And how?!

How To Break Your Barriers & Really Be Yourself!

If you’ve ever been told you’re high-maintenance, too assertive, too nice, or another extreme, you probably have some negative self-talk going on in your head. On a first or second date, this same voice may tell you not to speak up when something rubs you the wrong way because your date might think you’re being a bitch. This voice also might suggest you ask for dressing on the side, so your date doesn’t think you’re high maintenance.

Tell that voice to hush! It’s perfectly okay to ask for what you want and to speak up for the things you desire and prefer. More than just being okay, it’s really important!

There’s a certain level of decorum in “polite society” that says you shouldn’t do anything totally out there, particularly when meeting a new person or on a first date. Try thinking about it this way: Yes, first impressions count—but not for everything and rarely are they accurate.

So be yourself. Really! Expressing your likes and dislikes can accelerate relationship challenges, but they can also get us past that surface interaction and into the real stuff. They can help us engage in conflict in a socially intelligent way, helping us grow and reach a greater potential.

And hey, it’s ok to engage in conflict! However, conflict is most productive when we follow the rules of engagement. (We talk about all of these rules in our book, The Heart of the Fight.) Two of the most important rules are to accentuate the positive and to eliminate the negative. On a date, this doesn’t mean we should tell ourselves “everything is great!” when it’s not. Rather, we should instead approach every situation (even the less-than-stellar dates) as growth and learning opportunities. After a bad date, ask yourself, what did I learn about myself from this interaction?

Date & Explore to Learn About YOU

Don’t limit yourself! Go ahead and try out a lot of first dates. Explore your interactions with many different types of people. Throw strangers into a situation (or an MTV reality show) and the interactions they have are compelling—they definitely bring some different personality traits to light.

Dating and “playing the field” is no different. By giving yourself permission to explore your rapport with all different types of people, you can discover so much more about yourself.

What do you truly enjoy about your friends? Are there certain traits they have that really resonate with you? Maybe their sense of humor, their warmth, their way of reframing things? Whatever you like about your friends, chances are there are some common themes, and those traits can and should be explored with the different people you date.

Not every date is a love (or even a like) connection, but every date has a human connection. To unearth the connection, you have to be authentic and genuine.

Challenge yourself to really let down your guard and explore what you want. What do you like about people—and what doesn’t work for you? How do you express those feelings?

Explore each new way each different personality works with yours and study your reactions. I’ve said it before: dating is a wonderful playground and a chance to really interact, have fun, and do some of this deep personal growth work. Dating gives us the opportunity to be real and genuine, and to express our truest yearnings and desires and see how they are met or unmet.

Exploring yourself while you have the freedom of being single allows you to really roll up your sleeves and discover and play. You can identify the things you really want and like—and discover the things you’d rather avoid. It’s all at your feet. You just have to get real and get what you want!

To learn more about how to be yourself, find love, and get what you want out of your dating life (and life in general), click here to learn more about our next More Life Training.

Let us know how your dating is going! Tune in to our podcast every Wednesday to talk about dating, relationships, and how to bring out your best self. Listen to this episode here on BlogTalkRadio or here on iTunes.

Liked this post and want more? Sign up for updates – free!


About the Author

rachel-zwell

Rachel Zwell is one of the core coaches in the Year of Transformation program. She is an emergence coach specializing in empowering individuals to increase their fulfillment and satisfaction in their lives, to achieve their professional and personal goals, and to develop their leadership skills. She coaches and mentors people to develop self-awareness, vision, strategies, and to build skills in social and emotional intelligence. She believes in full engagement and aliveness, and trains people to see and overcome the barriers that prevent them from living fully.


Featured blog post image “Flirting…?” courtesy of Flickr user Chen Shiang Khoo licensed under CC by 2.0. The original image was altered for this use.

Wright Living is a division of the Wright Foundation for the Realization of Human Potential, a leadership institute located in Chicago, Illinois. Wright Living performative learning programs are integrated into the curriculum at Wright Graduate University.

What Questions Should
I Ask on a First Date?

Don’t you wish there was a script for first dates? A standard set of screening questions? Have you ever seen the article circulating online detailing 36 questions YOU should ask to “find love”?


We’ve all read magazine articles like this before—promising the perfect interaction and happily ever after if we just screen with the right set of questions.

In reality, there’s no tried-and-true questionnaire for screening your dates. In online dating profiles, we do get the answers to some questions. But not all of us meet our dates online. What about the girl you approach at the gym or the guy you meet at a networking event? You can’t exactly ask them to fill out a match.com profile on the spot, just to see if you’re compatible.

It’s easy to make snap judgments when we walk in on a date. We look at how our date is dressed, we evaluate their jewelry and their habits, and we immediately have a reaction. Maybe his glasses remind you of your dad or her perfume reminds you FAR too much of the coworker who drives you nuts.

The truth about first dates: To have a successful first date (and a successful fifty-first date)—it’s all about what you put into it! What does a successful first date look like, anyway? I consider it a good date if I’m enjoying my own company, learning something new from my date, and learning about myself. When you’re fully engaged, expressing your yearnings, and being up front and honest about who you are, you can discover more about yourself and others—even if you don’t feel a romantic connection.

This ISN’T a Great Date

Sometimes “bad dates” can teach us more about ourselves than the great ones. The next time you’re on a date that seems to be going awry, ask yourself what’s really bothering you about your date.

Maybe he’s rude. Maybe she talks incessantly about herself. Maybe she’s condescending. Whatever it is, allow yourself to be fully IN the situation. Let your date know what’s bothering you, and see what you can learn from the interaction. It will tell you a great deal about how you handle being uncomfortable and the ways you shy away from or engage in conflict.

Not every date is a perfect match, but every date is an opportunity. Part of the joy and fun of dating is getting to know different people and getting to know yourself. If something bothers you, explore what’s going on with you!

This IS a Great Date

Many times, first dates might actually be going well, yet we find ourselves holding back. Maybe you don’t ask the hard questions because you’re having fun: you’re attracted to your date and enjoying your time together. Maybe you don’t want to scare them away by bringing up big topics like babies, houses, and marriage. Maybe you don’t want to find out they’re a homebody when you’re an adventurer.

Here’s the truth: a first date is a great time to ask anything! You haven’t fully invested your time, effort, and energy into the relationship yet. It’s a great time to find out if you’re on the same page and working toward the same outcomes so you can continue. Why wait until you’re six or seven dates in, only to be disappointed that you’re not really jiving on some of your biggest yearnings?

Some of us go into our first dates with our tough question ready—guns a-blazin’. We’ll ask anything, engage in conflict, and figure out what page they’re on. THEN, as time goes on and we become more emotionally invested in the relationship, we start holding ourselves back. By then, we’ve put our emotions and heart into the relationship, so we don’t want to be crushed when we get an answer we don’t want.

Relationships Are About Continued Engagement

In The Heart of the Fight, we talk about how you can continue to discuss and bring up your yearnings, engage in conflict, and keep the communication flowing throughout your entire relationship. For the first TEN YEARS or more, you’re trying to find your footing and you’re vying for control and understanding. Face it: if you’re in it for the long haul, you’re going to address these issues. Putting them off is just staving off the inevitable.

Dating is such an amazing opportunity to get to know yourself and someone else. It’s exciting to engage with someone and to learn more about your reactions—what you like, what you don’t like, and how you feel. Allow yourself to go off-script and get down to discussing what really matters to you. You’ll feel better about the relationship if you like who you are being. I want to be someone who takes risks, who tells the truth, and who gets to know myself better with each date.

Let us know how your dating is going! Tune in to our podcast every Wednesday to talk about dating, relationships, and how to bring out your best self. To continue the conversation on engaging with others and to discover ways to bring out your best self, click here to learn more about our next More Life Training.

Listen to this episode here on BlogTalkRadio or here on iTunes.

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About the Author

Rachel Zwell

Rachel is a Coach and Executive Assistant to the CEO at Wright. She specializes in coaching adolescents, helping them navigate young adulthood and grow into their gifts and leadership. Rachel is responsible for leading and facilitating groups during weekend trainings. Currently, Rachel is pursuing her master’s in Transformational Leadership and Coaching from the Wright Graduate University.


Blog image courtesy Flickr user dickuhne.

Wright Living is a division of the Wright Foundation for the Realization of Human Potential, a leadership institute located in Chicago, Illinois. Wright Living performative learning programs are integrated into the curriculum at Wright Graduate University.

Should I Bring a Date
Home for the Holidays?

Ah the holidays…feelings of joy, goodwill towards others, and what’s this? Dread?! If you’re just in a relationship, dating someone new or single, the holidays can bring up a whole myriad of concerns.


 

“What if I bring Sara to Christmas dinner and my aunt Susan talks about how much she (and the whole family) loved my ex, Julie?”

Or worse… “What if Sam goes to my cousin’s wedding with me and my sisters start up about when WE’RE going to get married? We’ve literally been dating for two months. Is it too soon to bring him?”

Whatever your situation, facing the litmus test of family, friends and merriment can dredge up all sorts of expectations, yearnings and feelings. If it’s a holiday like Valentine’s Day, Christmas or a birthday, there’s always the issue of whether or not to get gifts for the guy or girl you’re dating. If it’s a romantic event (like a wedding or worse—a destination wedding) or a family-heavy event, there are a lot of uncertainties.

“We Aren’t That Serious!”

When you’re first dating someone, there’s often a heady, euphoric, romantic period. You have control over the way you present yourself. You can engage with your date one-on-one and get to know each other. You may be determining the direction of the relationship, exploring the connection, and deciding how far you want things to continue.

There can be a fear the person you’re dating will “read into” an invitation and assume things are more serious. If this is the case, it might be time to take a look at what’s holding you back. There’s an underlying reason you don’t want them to read into the invitation—and that reason should be explored.

Are you fearful they’ll misread your invitation? Are you afraid of taking the relationship further? Or are you afraid they’re not as serious and you’re avoiding pushing it? Either way, it’s time for some personal work and growth.

On the flipside, what if you’re afraid of showing up single to an event? Are you reaching to the other person to be a shield from engaging with your family? Is that easier than setting appropriate boundaries and letting them know that while you appreciate their concern and feedback, you’re perfectly happy with this stage in your life?

“My Family Is Weird!”

Okay, sometimes it’s not about the person you’re dating at all, but about your own family dynamics…on the surface. We’re all familiar with our own family quirks, be they positive or negative. Sometimes exposing another person to that dynamic can be scary. You’re waiting for them to notice similarities (the dreaded “you’re just like your mother”) or for your family to do something embarrassing or frustrating.

You aren’t a jerk for feeling you’d prefer to spare your significant other the interaction with your family. You also aren’t a jerk to want have your family time all to yourself or to feel your relationship isn’t ready. The point is to own it and express it.

If you’re truly engaging with your significant other in a meaningful, honest way, chances are they aren’t going to see your freaky family and head for the hills. This can be a great opportunity for you to do a little transformational growth work and focus on what it is about your family dynamic that freaks you out.

We’re often our most vulnerable around family members, who have seen us at our best and worst. They may still remember the rough patch you went through in college or the fact you were a bed-wetter in elementary school. What’s worse, you never know what they’re going to “share” with a new person. Maybe your family is loud and overwhelming. Maybe you just miss your family and you don’t want to have to be shadowed by a new boyfriend or girlfriend, worrying about their needs the entire time.

There’s no time like the present to confront some of these issues head-on. When your sister brings up an embarrassing story (again), let her know it’s time you move past it. If your dad’s politics won’t jive with your new girlfriend, give her a heads up before dinner and divert the conversation. If you need your boyfriend to engage with your family, sans hand-holding, let him know ahead of time he’s going to have to hold his own.

As it turns out, these events can actually strengthen your bond, as you develop an “ally” mentality. It can be very reassuring to have your date there to support you and help understand where you’re coming from. Even if you decide it’s not an appropriate time for them to attend an event, it can be wonderful to have a sounding board when you need to vent.

“I Wasn’t Invited…”

It happens. It can bring up all kinds of feelings and yearnings. Did you express to your boyfriend or girlfriend you wanted to go? Did you explain you feel you’re in a place where you feel like you should have been invited?

There’s really no hard and fast rule about how many dates or how old a relationship should be before you go to events or give gifts. If you aren’t sure where you are, it’s time to talk about it. Not only that, but your date might be wondering the same sorts of things, and having the same fears and yearnings.

Admit to yourself (and to your boyfriend or girlfriend) you feel bad you weren’t invited. It’s perfectly okay to have a reaction where you feel hurt or things didn’t turn out in a satisfactory way. Oftentimes the anxiety about how these things will go permeates the interaction and builds up until it turns into an explosive reaction. It’s better to deal with it immediately and handle the conflict ahead of time.

During the holidays and big events, we can get this feeling like we’re supposed to feel something we aren’t—like we are supposed to be happy. Our relationship is supposed to be 100% fulfilling and perfect. We’re supposed to give them the greatest Valentine’s Day gift ever. It’s time to remind yourself, you are okay—work on strengthening your own sense of self-worth, first. You might want to visit your family alone, and that’s okay. You might not give the perfect gift, and that’s okay, too.

Focus on making the experience positive and approaching it with honest and open engagement. Let down the anticipatory anxiety over what you think it’s “supposed” to be and just let it happen organically. You just may find you enjoy the event and learn a thing or two about yourself and your date!

Join us every two weeks on Wednesdays at noon CST for our podcast Bring Out Your Best! where we discuss dating, relationships and being your best self.

If you’re looking for deeper, more meaningful relationships, you can order our new relationships book: The Heart of The Fight, coming out next February.


About the Author

Judith-300x250

Dr. Judith Wright is a media favorite, sought-after inspirational speaker, respected leader, peerless educator, bestselling author, & world-class coach. She is a co-founder of Wright and the Wright Graduate University.


Loving the content and want more? Follow Judith on Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest!

Liked this post and want more? Sign up for updates – free!

Listen to this episode here on BlogTalkRadio.
Check Out Lifestyle Podcasts at BlogTalkRadio with Wright Living on BlogTalkRadio.

Blog post image courtesy: Flickr user parttimephotos.

 

How to Handle Blind Dates:
Honest Tips

How many of us have been set up? It used to be almost a cliché or a joke—the “blind date from hell” a friend or well-meaning family member coerced us into.


 

Nowadays, the face of dating has changed. We’re connecting through online dating sites and apps, and we’re meeting through coworkers and at networking events, so in general, almost every date becomes a “blind date” in some respect. Rarely do we know more about our date beforehand than a general idea of his or her looks and location.

The positive side to this new face of dating is it gives us a chance to engage and interact with many different people. We all lead busy lives, yet it’s important we make time to connect with others. How fascinating that we get to meet and get to know others while getting to know ourselves in such an objective manner? Dating is like a social experiment: we can test out our yearnings and different aspects of our personality while seeing how those traits fit with another person (or result in conflict).

On the flipside, what we see in someone’s profile or read online, doesn’t always translate to what we find in person.

“My Dates Always Go Wrong!”

Sometimes we hold back because we fear our dates won’t “go well” or things won’t happen in the way we expect them to. You know what? This is perfectly normal—and a wonderful opportunity to test things out and discover more about our reactions, expectations and desires!

No dating situation is perfect. Even if we plan out every detail or if we strictly adhere to our vision of the ideal date, things will go awry. You can’t control the behavior of other people and this conflict for control can be the very thing preventing us from “clicking”—or at minimum, it can cause little annoyances to pop up.

If your date does something you don’t like or you do something your date is unhappy with, it’s a wonderful chance to look at the deeper story behind it. If you cringe when he answers his cellphone at dinner or you absolutely hate it when she interrupts you in conversation, then it’s time to explore why. More importantly, did you say something when those feelings arose and was it addressed directly? Were you feeling ignored? Was your yearning to be noticed and be a priority overlooked?

Ask yourself how you reacted to these situations and frustrations, and examine how your date reacted as well. It might not be a perfect date, but it’s a perfect time to explore your interaction. Did you speak up, express your feelings, state your yearnings and engage? Did you withdraw, become passive-aggressive or feel hurt?

When It’s Just Not There…

Some people can have great online chemistry and it’s just a fizzle in real life. Even if you’ve had weeks of exciting banter and great conversation, the spark might not be there in person.

Not every date is going to be a love connection or even a like connection. It’s totally okay to let your date know things aren’t going as you’d hoped. If you continue the date as friends, you might still have a chance to make a connection and grow. If you end the date, you know you haven’t held back from being yourself. You’ve been honest—and that’s what’s important.

Sometimes a friend might set us up with someone who leaves us wondering, “WHOA, what was she thinking?!” Rather than being upset by the mismatch, you’ll find a great opportunity to examine your relationship with your friend and you’ll get a glimpse into the ways others might view your personality and your yearnings as you present them. You can see what sort of personality you’re projecting out to the world and to others in your social circle.

Using Dates to Grow

What it really comes down to is: are you being honest and up front with your dates? What are your expectations of the situation? There’s no formula or set of questions you can ask to predict the outcome of any date, blind date or otherwise. Searching for an answer is like asking for a crystal ball. It may even reveal we’re simply having a difficult time accepting the uncertainty of dating.

Unfortunately—and fortunately—the world is an unpredictable place. If we can allow ourselves to let go of the idea we need to be fully in control of the ride, or we need to have all the factors laid out in front of us, we can find ourselves enjoying the journey of dating and the lessons it has to offer.

If you find you’re easily angered on your dates or frustrated, it may be a frustration with the uncertainty and your own inability to express your desires and expectations. Much of our anger and frustrations can be exacerbated by an underlying fear.

Instead, reframe your view of dating as an adventure and an opportunity. Are you sharing meaningful things and are you affirming your feelings and the feelings of your date? Engage in the messiness of dating, jump in, tell the truth and get to know each other. Conflict is ok—when we get it out early we can avoid superficial and meaningless dates and relationships. Stop looking for things to be comfortable and familiar—shake things up and have some fun!

You just may find yourself enjoying blind dates more and more, and looking forward to your next dating adventure!

If you’re looking for deeper, more meaningful relationships, you can pre-order our new relationships book: The Heart of The Fight, coming out next February.


About the Author

Judith-300x250

Dr Judith Wright is a media favorite, sought-after inspirational speaker, respected leader, peerless educator, bestselling author, & world-class coach. She is a co-founder of Wright and the Wright Graduate University.


Loving the content and want more? Follow Judith on Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest!

Liked this post and want more? Sign up for updates – free!

Listen to this episode here on BlogTalkRadio.
Check Out Lifestyle Podcasts at BlogTalkRadio with Wright Living on BlogTalkRadio.

Blog post image courtesy: Flickr user alville.

 

THE One Secret to
Successful Online Dating

There is quite literally an app for everything today—and dating is no exception. There are so many options: Hinge, Tinder, Carrot, Coffee Meets Bagel…



The list goes on and on. One thing most of these apps have in common is that they offer us a chance to get a snapshot—a quick rundown on the basic stats of a potential date.

What do they really tell us though? Aside from age, location, and looks there’s really not many details. While attraction is important, shouldn’t we be looking for a little more?

Think of dating apps like making eye-contact at a bar. Swiping right is saying, “Yeah, maybe you should come talk to me,” while swiping left says, “Don’t you dare.” In real life, we do the same thing, it just feels a little less obvious sometimes. For those of us who are a little more reserved or have difficultly overcoming shyness, it can be really helpful because you get that awkward “meeting” out of the way. Online dating can be really fun and a great opportunity for growth!

Of course, dating apps aren’t perfect or the solution to everything. Just like so many things, they can become a soft addiction: we become so enthralled with the idea of that rush of excitement we get on a first and second date that we become serial daters. Suddenly we aren’t really taking things to the next emotional level with any of our dates, so we’re stuck with a full calendar and a lonely heart.

So where’s the balance?

Know What You’re Looking For

Like most things in life, knowing the outcome you’re aiming for helps steer you in the right direction. If you’re really looking to connect with someone and take things to a deeper level (i.e. beyond one or two dates, or even into boyfriend/girlfriend territory)—be up front about it. There can be the fear you might turn away the “perfect match” (which we know doesn’t exist, anyway) by sounding too demanding or too choosy, or by laying out your wants and expectations upfront.

Don’t fall into this limiting belief. Instead, pay attention to your yearnings and be real about them. Ask yourself if you’re using dating as a crutch. If you’re failing to put your expectations on the line because you’re too vulnerable—if the relationship goes awry you won’t be able to blame it on the other person, because you were honest about what you wanted.

It can be challenging to be this honest with yourself, but let’s admit it: dating is about gaining experiences and really, it’s about also getting to know ourselves better. It’s about finding out how you interact with people and what strengths they bring out in you. It’s about expressing your yearnings and finding people who can meet those yearnings in a way that is enough for you.

What If I’m Not Looking for Anything Serious?

Maybe you just got out of a relationship or you’re in the middle of your own transformational work, and you’d prefer to keep things casual. You know what? That’s perfectly okay, too. Word your profile and interactions as honestly and genuinely as possible to convey what you want.

Sometimes saying, “I don’t want to get serious right now” can be read as, “All I want to do is have no-strings-attached sex.” Unless that IS quite literally what you’re looking for, you might prefer to say something along the lines of, “Just looking to get to know lots of new friends right now, so I’m not looking to take things to the next level.”

When you’re in a place of growth and learning about yourself, you might find that dating is part of that. You need to understand the ways you interact with different types of people and how they make you feel. It might not be about future long-term plans, but rather just about observing yourself over coffee with new people and understanding your reactions and where they come from.

One thing’s for sure: dating should be fun and interesting. It’s a time to work on your social and emotional growth and get to the nitty-gritty of who you are so you can really know yourself. That’s something anyone can swipe right to!


You’ll be able to read all about these ideas and more in Dr. Bob and Judith’s Wright’s new book The Heart of the Fight: A Couple’s Guide to Fifteen Common Fights, What They Really Mean, and How They Can Bring You Closer. (Available on Amazon now!)

Liked this post and want more? Sign up for updates– free!

If you want to know more about how to work on your own social and emotional intelligence and growth, join us for our next More Life Training. Don’t miss our transformative high-value weekend. [Learn more!]

Want to learn more about more satisfying dates and relationships? If you’d like to learn more about what the Wright Foundation for the Realization of Human Potential has to offer check out:

Listen to this episode here on BlogTalkRadio or here on iTunes.


About the Author

table-img-6

Monica is the Admissions Coordinator and Marketing Specialist at the Wright Graduate University. As the admissions coordinator and head of marketing for WGU, Monica oversees recruiting, student admissions, customer services and marketing efforts.


Blog post image courtesy Flickr user freestocks.

Wright Living is a division of the Wright Foundation for the Realization of Human Potential, a leadership institute located in Chicago, Illinois. Wright Living performative learning programs are integrated into the curriculum at Wright Graduate University.

“But We’re So Different …”

What happens when you’re way into sports and you start dating a sports hater? Or when you find yourself dating an actor, but you don’t even own a television?



Are you a cat person going out with a dog person?

While it’s true sometimes opposites attract, how different is too different? Even Miss Piggy and Kermit the Frog broke up. Is it possible to make it work with someone who is your opposite, politically, religiously, or personality-wise?

First of all, in dating we have to figure out what it is we’re really looking for and hoping to get out of it. Are you looking for long-term commitment and a possible future—or are you just looking to be social, engage with others and have a little fun? There’s no right answer and at different times in our lives most of us will probably be in one boat or the other. Being honest with yourself ensures you aren’t seeking out dates on different pages.

Then again, sometimes it’s still okay if you find someone who might not be looking for a “serious” relationship, when you are. You can still go out, engage with them, get to know them a little better and see where life takes you. As long as you’re being true to yourself and honest about your intentions and yearnings, it’s perfectly fine to date someone who’s not sure where things will lead.

What About Personality Differences?

The optimist versus the pessimist or the extrovert versus the introvert—these juxtapositions in the dating world give you an opportunity to really put those traits to the test and under the microscope. You may see them as red flags, but they’re really a chance to examine: are you truly an optimist because that’s the path you’ve chosen and it fits the way you interact with and see the world? Or, are you an optimist because you have anxiety about dealing with problems and you refuse to see them?

If you’re holding to your true personality and approaching differences from learning and engaging perspectives, it’s actually fun to date someone who challenges you and makes you go, “Wow—I never thought of that before.”

Highly energetic and extroverted people may have a hard time down-regulating in arguments or during conflict. For someone more analytical, less emotional or more introverted, this can be a little terrifying. It can also be a chance to grow a little in your emotional responses and to learn how to up-regulate yourself to meet their enthusiasm. You may want to explore what about the personality differences induces anxiety or causes you to be adverse. You’ll learn more about yourself and it just may end up being more exciting and exhilarating than dating someone “just like” you.

One fun thing we do in couples work is a game called “Sunshine/Clouds.” It’s about turning your perception of yourself on its head and viewing things from the other person’s perspective. If you’re struggling to find common ground or little “differences” are driving you crazy, try agreeing to reverse roles for a day. If she’s constantly late and you’re punctual to the second, mix it up. If you have a sunny outlook and she can be a Debbie Downer, try spending an entire date being a bit more of a raincloud. (Believe me—this one’s HARD.) It can actually lead to a little bit of laughter and an interesting perspective on the other person’s point of view.

Finding Common Ground

Don’t get bogged down by superficial “interests.” Yes, it can be nice fodder for conversation if you find you both love the Bears or Spain’s your favorite vacation destination. Things like sports teams, music, hobbies…those are all pastimes and they aren’t vital to connecting with another person. If you find someone you truly engage with and enjoy, then you might find your time is spent doing quality activities together and you don’t need so much “filler.”

Not to suggest, of course, you give up your hobbies or sell your season tickets once you start dating someone. Be true to who you are. Maybe it means you’re going to have to dial up your girlfriends to join you for a concert, or get your buddy to be your running partner. Dating doesn’t mean losing your identity or trying to conform to another person’s interests or preferences.

If you’ve done the work beforehand, you know yourself well enough to understand your deal breakers and non-negotiables. You also know what limiting beliefs might be holding you back from truly connecting with another person. Approach dating as a great social experiment—one where you should never compromise on your deal breakers, but you should allow yourself to grow and learn.

As we all know, there’s no such thing as “the one” and differences make dating explorative and fun. Get out there and learn a little bit about someone else and gain a little deeper understanding about yourself at the same time!

You’ll be able to read all about these ideas and more in Dr. Bob and Judith’s Wright’s new book, out now: The Heart of the Fight: A Couple’s Guide to Fifteen Common Fights, What They Really Mean, and How They Can Bring You Closer. (Available on Amazon now!)

Liked this post and want more? Sign up for updates– free!

Want to learn more about more satisfying dates and relationships? If you’d like to learn more about what the Wright Foundation for the Realization of Human Potential has to offer check out:

Listen to this episode here on BlogTalkRadio or here on iTunes.


About the Author
table-img-6

Monica is the Admissions Coordinator and Marketing Specialist at the Wright Graduate University. As the admissions coordinator and head of marketing for WGU, Monica oversees recruiting, student admissions, customer services and marketing efforts.


Blog post image courtesy Flickr user familymwr.

The Wright Foundation for the Realization of Human Potential is a leadership institute located in Chicago, Illinois. Wright Living performative learning programs are integrated into the curriculum at Wright Graduate University.