Mind Over Matter:
The Surprising Effects of Positive Thinking

Do you ever wonder why some people are GOOD at everything?

Some people are naturally happier, more fulfilled and better at what they do because they have embraced powerful effects of positive thinking.

Maybe it’s your coworker who received a promotion at work, when you were passed over. Maybe it’s a friend who is constantly moving up in all aspects of his life. He has a great relationship with his spouse, recently bought a new house in the suburbs and is always doing something adventurous and amazing (he’s even a nice guy!).

Don’t they get under your skin? You know, those people who are just amazing at everything they do. Like King Midas, everything they touch seems to turn to gold. It all works out for them, all the time. Don’t they just piss you off, those lucky so-and-sos?!

All jest aside, it’s not your imagination, but it’s also not dumb luck either. Some people are naturally happier, more fulfilled and better at what they do because they gravitate toward powerful positive thinking.

Rather than pissing you off, these positive thinkers should be great examples and role models. If you want what they’re getting, you’ve got to shift your approach. Surround yourself with positive allies and learn from them.

These seemingly gifted people have learned to focus on the positive. They’ve developed a positive mindset—a growth mindset—and they’ve used the mindset as a platform to transform their lives. These people learned they possess the power to control their happiness through action (not willpower or willful denial). These people are leaders and influencers. They’ve learned the powerful effects of positive thinking.

Positive psychology isn’t about wishing and manifesting from the universe. Positive psychology can be congruent to faith and religion but it’s not a spiritual practice. It certainly doesn’t mean you’ll never face problems or frustrations. It’s not even about “faking it until you make it.” (Although, faking a positive growth-mindset until it becomes natural and genuine can help you get there.)

What Is Positive Psychology?

Historically, the field of psychology has been focused on the darker side of understanding disordered thinking and mental illness. Psychologists studied and wanted to understand why people were anxious, depressed, and so on. They wanted to dissect the problem to resolve it.

Starting with Alfred Adler, the field of psychology started to slowly break away from the approach of “identify, dissect and resolve a problem” and into a more holistic approach—a focus on each person’s needs and how to help them move toward happiness.

Adlerian psychology is known as Individual Psychology. Not because the practice focuses on the “Individual,” as we would instinctively assume. In German, Adler’s native tongue, the word translated to “whole” or undivided. The focus was on healing and transforming a person into their best potential state.


Positive psychology has evolved on this base of Adlerian philosophy. Positive psychology is a scientific approach to happiness. It’s based on experiments and tested theories. It’s an evidence-based approach to joy and greater fulfillment.


A positive growth-mindset isn’t limited to psychology and the field of mental health but is used by business leaders, counselors and life coaches. In fact, the field of coaching and positive psychology go hand-in-hand.

Coaches work with their clients to help them develop tools to achieve their goals and find more fulfillment and influence in their worlds. Coaches help clients work toward greater fulfillment and success. Much of the growth clients experience is achieved through the effects of positive thinking.

How Can You Benefit from the Effects of Positive Thinking?

We’ve all had times when we feel like an outsider. Maybe you aren’t connecting with your spouse or your coworkers. Maybe your friends seem to click, yet you feel like you’re standing on the outside, looking in. How do you get those connections? How do you get to the “good life” you want?

Well, positive psychologists, coaches and others who’ve studied the “good life,” learn it isn’t about the stuff we buy or own. It’s not about our promotions at work, or having the biggest house or the prettiest spouse, or even being the most intelligent person in the room. The good life comes from unlocking your sense of purpose. It comes from our experiences and our focus on the positive. The good life comes from the effects of positive thinking.

In our signature program, The Year of Transformation, we discuss many different approaches to reaching your version of the good life. One of the most important tools you can unlock is the ability to see life as an adventure. Focus on the positive. Every experience is an opportunity to learn and to explore. Setbacks are no longer setbacks but deeper chances for learning and engagement.

This approach to learning is called a growth mindset. Educators, coaches and psychologists have learned adopting a growth mindset’s one of the keys to success. Transformational leaders and visionaries (those guys with the Midas touch) focus on the positive and possess a growth mindset.


In our Year of Transformation program, Adopting a Positive, Growth Mindset is a key focus.


Make a conscious choice of a growth mindset, over a fixed mindset. Most of us have a fixed mindset. Oh we don’t mind learning something new or even taking a class or seminar periodically, but we’re not passionately curious and really stretching ourselves on a daily basis. We aim for a goal, achieve it, and are content to coast for an indefinite period afterwards. In other words, we engage as a shorter-term tactic to get what we want. We may engage to become a black belt in karate, to secure a plum position with our organization or to find a romantic partner. Once we get what we want, though, we disengage. What we’re suggesting is adopting a growth mindset if you want to sustain engagement past an endpoint.

Live your life as an experiment! This is the essence of the assignment way of living at Wright. This attitudinal shift can foster engagement by getting you out of your routine. Engagement thrives on novelty and an experimental perspective allows you to test all sorts of new endeavors. Too often, we feel that we have to do certain things and follow certain paths. We create all sorts of boundaries that prevent us from venturing into uncharted territory where we could engage in ways that we don’t, when we are following well-trodden paths.

You may recall a world class transformer, R. Buckminster Fuller, who is perhaps best known as the inventor of the geodesic dome. However, Fuller was also a philosopher, engineer, poet, educator and Renaissance man. He talked about living his life as an experiment designed to discover how he might benefit humankind. He formalized this experiment by referring to himself as Guinea Pig B. With this life-changing approach, Fuller was able to engage deeply in a myriad of endeavors. He filled his life with novelty and fostered in himself wide-ranging intellectual and emotional involvement. His ideas and inventions did indeed benefit humankind, thus fulfilling his experiment’s mission.

Be like Bucky Fuller and live your life as an experiment, engaging in all you do and harvesting more of the infinite possibilities available to you. When we engage in our life project as our personal experiment, we make discoveries—a key element of the Transformed process.

-from Transformed! The Science of Spectacular Living

If you’re ready for a more engaged, more fulfilling life of getting what you want, join us for an upcoming workshop or event. Our free workshops on Emotional Intelligence or a free coaching consultation can help guide you toward your next steps. Please visit us at The Wright Foundation for more information!


About the Author

Dr. Bob Wright is an internationally recognized visionary, educator, program developer, leadership and sales executive, best-selling author and speaker. He is a co-founder of Wright and the Wright Graduate University.


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The Wright Foundation for the Realization of Human Potential is a leadership institute located in Chicago, Illinois. Wright Living performative learning programs are integrated into the curriculum at Wright Graduate University.

How To Make a
Great First Impression

Whether starting a new job or meeting with a potential client, the old adage applies: you never get a second chance to make a first impression.

You only have one chance to make a great first impression. Here's how to let go of your limiting beliefs, be yourself, and put your best self forward.


We’re so focused on “putting our best foot forward,” we can often miss a chance for real connection—we can actually trip ourselves up on that best foot!

Think about how you interact with others you’re meeting for the first time…When we first meet someone, our instant analysis results in several assumptions about that person. In fact, we’re already concluding certain “facts” about them before they even open their mouth. We might look at the way they’re dressed, the way they hold themselves, their eyes or their smile.

We also apply a bunch of context when we meet a new person. When we walk into a new office for a business meeting, we’ve already assessed what that person’s position is based on his or her dress and location within the office. We’re probably assuming the person behind the front desk is the receptionist, rather than the CEO.

That first impression gives us a lot of fodder to chew over. We’ve already figured out quite a bit before we even start to speak. But do we really know anything about that person? Do we feel connected to them—or are they just another person we pass by?


What if I told you that you could make a memorable first impression in any situation—connecting with others and ensuring everyone is interested in you?


You might think I’m talking about dressing the part, looking pulled together and fabulous—and yes, looking your best is part of it, but that’s not the whole idea. You could walk in with a feather boa or a loud Hawaiian shirt and that would certainly make an impression…but probably not the impression you want. It’s not about simply dressing so you stand out.

To make a great first impression, we must be present, engaged and open. It requires having confidence in yourself and knowing who you are. If you want to make a great first impression, embrace being true to yourself! Be genuine! Be real! Don’t hold back! Engage!

How to Be YOU

You’re always yourself, right? Doesn’t that sound silly to say? Of course, each and everyone one of us is the best “Me” we can be. We are who we are.

But what about the face we put on for others? The way we tamp down our desires, our feelings, and our yearnings? The way we downplay our vulnerabilities or put on a front to shield our emotional (real) selves from those around us.

Imagine you’re on a first date. You probably try to be on your best behavior. You’ve done your hair and picked out a nice outfit. You order something simple from the menu to ensure you won’t end up with a wedge of spinach between your teeth. You smile. You try to listen and make eye contact. You focus on interesting stories to showcase your great sense of humor, your winning personality…

But is that really your true self?

Each of us lies about what we put out to the world. Maybe we don’t like to think we lie because lying is bad and makes us sound fake, but it’s true. We all put on certain fronts and faces, especially when we’re trying to make a good impression. We don’t order the lobster or the filet mignon because we don’t want to appear greedy. We don’t speak up when someone says something we don’t agree with because we don’t want to appear argumentative. We fib about our true feelings.

The word lie implies that this type of behavior is always a bad thing, yet it’s not entirely negative. Taking pride in yourself to look your best, working extra hard a new endeavor, and pleasing clients at work will lead you to greater success and growth in your job. You can’t always tell a client you think they’re being a jerk. Sometimes you have to grin and bear it.

Putting on a great outfit, shining your shoes and doing your hair will make you feel invested in yourself. It will also make others believe you are worth investing in. It will let them know that YOU believe you’re special, so they should too. There’s no lie in being the best version of yourself.

That said, even if we’re smiling in a fabulous outfit and ready to do our best work, the key to making a great impression goes beyond that. The key is to be real and to truly engage with others.

Engagement can be a frightening thing: when we’re engaged, we’re honest and real, which makes us vulnerable. When we’re engaged, we don’t hold back. We speak up. We stand out. We get what we want! We put our innermost desires and our yearnings forward. We say what we really think.

Often we think it’s better not to make waves, but the truth is, those who don’t make waves miss out on opportunities.

 

Yearning gives…you the capacity to turn the most mundane moment into a fulfilling experience. Imagine yourself in a business meeting. You want your company to succeed and you fear that the strategy it is following will lead to failure. You have an urge to speak up. You yearn to contribute and to be well received. You are the least senior person in the room. It will look presumptuous if you speak up, but if you remain silent, the company will suffer.
If you’re not in touch with your yearnings you may miss [a moment to engage]. Instead of speaking up in the meeting, you might waste time and energy complaining to friends about how your company is being run by shortsighted leaders. Or you might miss that moment to love and to matter in your child’s life when you’re tucking her into bed and she wants to talk but your mind is jumping to all the “to do’s” left at work. Or maybe you dash off a hurried peck on the cheek to your mate on your way to the door and miss the opportunity to really see and appreciate each other for a moment while nourishing your yearning to love and be loved.
—from Transformed! The Science of Spectacular Living

 

Holding back causes us to miss out on life! It causes us to hide our real selves and miss the chance to connect. We miss the moments that really matter.

Don’t Hold Back!

When we’re in a meeting, whether it’s the first day or the 251st day, we should commit to speaking our truth. We should commit to engaging and going for it!

To make a great first impression on anyone, listen to that person and find out who they are. Try to see them for what they really are in their truest light. What drives them? What do they long for most?

Each of us has a unique spark and an inner light that drives us, that makes us unique and beautiful. It’s that light that draws others to us and we can connect with the light in them. Listening to the other person is part of that. Asking questions, trying to see the other person’s full vision, and discovering how it aligns with your ideas will make a far greater first impression than any other action.

Share your ideas back. Explain your hopes and vision for how you’d like things to go. If you want to connect, let the person know that. You can even say, “I’m really hoping to connect with you and understand your vision for the company/meeting/situation. I’d like to share my ideas and see how they fit with yours.”

Will you get along with everyone? Will everyone like you and think your ideas are brilliant? No, of course not! But engaging with different people (even those you don’t feel connected to) can help you experience a richer, fuller life.

When you’re speaking up in a meeting or situation, test your vision. Are you trying to foster ideas for the greater good? Will your idea help the company grow? Will it help others in the meeting? Then put it out there!

Reaching outside ourselves and our narrow vision to an all-encompassing greater collective vision helps us connect with new people. It helps us make a great first impression on all those we meet. They’ll know our real “selves” and we’ll be better for it.

Don’t hold back—engage today! For more on how you can grow and get ahead in your job, please visit the Wright Foundation.

 


About the Author

Judith

Dr. Judith Wright is a media favorite, sought-after inspirational speaker, respected leader, peerless educator, bestselling author, & world-class coach. She is a co-founder of Wright and the Wright Graduate University.


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The Wright Foundation for the Realization of Human Potential is a leadership institute located in Chicago, Illinois. Wright Living performative learning programs are integrated into the curriculum at Wright Graduate University.

“I Don’t Love My Job”
…Signs You Know It’s
Time to Leave

So you’re stuck in a job that doesn’t thrill you (or maybe even a job you hate). Going to work at a miserable job is just drudgery, isn’t it?

We have all thought "I hate my job" at some point in our career. If you're thinking the same thing, it's time to leave! Here's how to know when to cut ties.


 

If your job no longer fills you with a sense of growth and purpose, then you probably aren’t fulfilled or happy. Chances are, you probably dread going to work.

Our work can’t be the only thing that gives us a sense of purpose and fulfillment, but all of us need to find some purpose from the work we do. Even if you work in a restaurant or on a factory line, having pride in the results of your work—and knowing you’re bringing people something they need—can provide a strong sense of fulfillment.

I’ve known blue-collar guys who worked on the line at GM and found immense satisfaction in that. They worked hard and took pride in the results of their work. They paid attention to the details. They viewed the job with a sense of how it was helping the greater good. They also didn’t rest on their laurels, sit back and say, “Well, I’m just going to build this same thing every day and go home.” Those who were the most fulfilled came in every day ready to do a better job. They were constantly trying to up their achievement and growth.

When I started in counseling years ago, I helped golf pros improve their game. Golf is a very psychologically fueled game—it’s a game where you’re actually playing against yourself. Even when golfers are in these big tournaments, they’re playing to beat their own score.


Jack Nicklaus once said, “Achievement is largely the product of raising one’s level of aspiration and expectation.” This applies to both golf and your career. It’s very much a mental game.


Golf is so psychologically driven, in fact, there’s even a condition called the yips. Golfers become anxious, then, due to holding their club and the tension in their body, they start to shake. Their entire career can be ruined by this condition and it’s a very real issue. Similarly, the pros that get the hole-in-one, the course record, and even the green jacket often say afterwards that they KNEW they were going to win, even before they began the game. They envisioned the entire process. They were in their groove.

If you’re in your own groove at work, raising your aspirations and expectations constantly, you will be successful. If you’ve reached a point where you can no longer grow, it’s probably time to liberate yourself and move on to the next opportunity.

When You Get a Better Job Offer…

We’ve all had a great offer come along—an offer we can’t refuse.

What do you do? Well, weigh the merits of the new role. Will you be doing the same thing you’re doing now, just with more pay? Rather than making it all about the money, you have to look at the opportunity and the purpose.

When we’re driven by purpose, money is just the icing on the cake. When we’re driven only by a bigger paycheck, we might never feel fulfilled in our work. I’ve talked to CEOs and presidents who reported they simply felt hollow despite their success. Why? Because they were all about the money—and not about the purpose behind their work.

So if a better offer comes along, weigh it against what you’re doing now. What need will it fulfill within you? We all have deeper needs and desires called yearnings. We might yearn for acknowledgement, achievement, or security. While a raise can provide some of these things, deep human yearnings cannot be fulfilled by money alone.

A client I worked with, Ellis, discovered that working with a sense of purpose is more powerful than money:

 

From early on, Ellis wanted to be well known and make a lot of money. This was his highest conscious purpose for many years. He lived in a feast-or-famine world. To make ends meet he even once traded his house for a less expensive one. His life was dominated by fear and chaos. He began living by the principles of purpose, and then his career purpose took form.
Over the years he discovered the joy of partnering with his clients in fulfilling their dreams. His sense of purpose expanded. As money receded in importance, he made more. As fame became irrelevant, he was mentioned more and more. He became absorbed in meeting his clients’ needs. In doing so, his own needs were met or exceeded. His famine periods receded and life became remarkably enjoyable.
When he moved from a limited purpose of making money and becoming famous to one of servicing clients and fully helping them succeed, he discovered unanticipated excitement. This enthusiasm caused him to conceptualize and develop new products at breakneck speed. He wanted to serve as much as possible. Clarity of purpose helped him prioritize product development and keep focused on the well being of his growing organization. He even split off a major portion of his business because the key executives were not in line with his higher purpose.
—from Beyond Time Management: Business with Purpose

 

When you have purpose, the money will follow. Don’t be swayed by a “better offer” if it’s not a more purposeful offer.

When “It’s Not You, It’s Me”

Many of us get a chip on our shoulder at work. We start putting ourselves on the “pitty potty” with what I call Stinkin’ Thinkin’. We shift the blame from our own inadequacies and under-performance to understand our own mistakes as everyone else’s fault.

As it turns out, YOU are responsible for your own happiness. Not your wife. Not your husband. Not your kids. Not your employer or coworkers. YOU.

If you’re miserable in your job and you dread going in every day, you need to look at it just like you would a relationship. What got you to this point? Why did you pick a job that lead you to this place of being so unfulfilled? What missteps did you take on your journey?

If your answers start out with something like, “Well, it’s these coworkers of mine, you see, they’re just awful…” or, “Look, my boss is a jerk,” then you still need to step back and reassess. Why did you let it go so long? How did you fail to set up appropriate boundaries?

Now, I get it. Some bosses are jerks. Some people get off on power trips and like to torture their employees. In the business world, we still have problems with bullying just like in elementary school.

But if a boss, manager, or coworker is truly abusive, then why are you putting up with it? Most bullies, just like in the movies, back off the moment they’re called out.

Level with your boss. Let them know you want to improve your performance and you want to be successful. Ask them how you can get there before it’s too late or before things have unraveled too far. Get on the same page and have them explain their vision to you. How do they want the company to run? What does a successful department look like to them and how can you help them get there?

If all else fails, then resign—but don’t leave and fall into the same trap as before. Leave and learn from the experience. What can you do differently next time to set yourself up for success?

When the Bridge is About to Burn

If it’s time to leave a job and you’ve found an opportunity that presents more possibilities for your own personal growth, developing your greater purpose, and achieving more fulfillment, great!

Just don’t let the door hit you on the way out. Don’t burn the bridge you might have to cross again. Cities are like big small towns, so if you plan to stay in the same industry or if you might run into crossover client, leave on good terms. Don’t run around spouting off to everyone about what an egomaniac or jerk your former employer was.

Keep connections strong with coworkers, particularly those who have shared your vision and who are supportive allies. Stay in touch and build on those connections outside of the work environment.

If it’s time to leave a job, leave things in the best condition you can. Don’t use your resignation and as opportunity to give your employer a laundry list of grievances. If there’s something concrete that needs to change, share it with your boss to help ensure the role is more successful in the future for the next person who takes it on.


We’ve all had the urge to walk out of a job or a meeting in a flurry—throwing things, yelling, or just disappearing for good. Unfortunately, these actions can haunt us later.


Do your own mental evaluation and work through your own “stuff” before you carry it to the next job. Let your employer work through the company’s baggage themselves. If the company is good, and vision and mission-driven, and was just a bad fit for you, they’ll move on and be fine. If the company is truly terrible, chances are they’ll fold eventually anyway.

Leaving a job can be done on good terms and lead to better things for you and your future. Keep your goals growth-oriented and focused on the big picture. Evaluate what YOU need to do to improve your game and continue to work on bettering yourself.

Want to learn more about freeing yourself and finding your purpose? Learn how you can up your game at the Wright Foundation.

 


About the Author

Dr. Bob Wright is an internationally recognized visionary, educator, program developer, leadership and sales executive, best-selling author and speaker. He is a co-founder of Wright and the Wright Graduate University.


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The Wright Foundation for the Realization of Human Potential is a leadership institute located in Chicago, Illinois. Wright Living performative learning programs are integrated into the curriculum at Wright Graduate University.

Entrepreneurs: 3 Core Factors for Finding Your Purpose

 

Current and future entrepreneurs: I want you to think about your WHY. Are you considering becoming an entrepreneur? Are you already an entrepreneur?

finding your purpose


Why? Is it because you want to be your own boss? Is it because you’re sick and tired of making money for someone else?

I’m betting everyone who has entrepreneurial aspirations is nodding along right now. But guess what? Making money, being your own boss—it’s not enough. Sure, those reasons are certainly motivating factors, but they’re not going to give you purpose.

How about this…

Do you excel at a certain skill and you want to use that skill to create a company and become an entrepreneur? Now you’re closer to the right track.

I had a skill too. I’m what I like to call a “default entrepreneur.”

When I first started out, I learned how to deliver psychotherapy and I went into business on my own. Using that skill, I paid my way through grad school, delivering therapy and building a client base. Upon graduation, I discovered I had enough clients between $7.50 and $15/hour to pay my rent. (This was in 1979, mind you.)

Realizing I had this autonomy and self-sufficiency fueled me to keep going on my own. I was able to hold to “being my own boss” in the face of job offers that would have been very desirable to me before.

I had the good fortune to be well trained and have a strong background, which enabled me to help athletes—golfers in particular—win tournaments. Using these same concepts, I was able to help politicians win elections, help couples resolve their marital issues, and help CEOs build their businesses.

During this time, my own business grew very fast and the next thing I knew it was six months after graduation. I had so many clients I needed to hire my first employee! I went into business with the man who was to be my business partner for the next 15 years.


I didn’t set out to be an entrepreneur. I simply had a skill. I built on that skill and I became a “default entrepreneur.”


When I began, I didn’t even think about becoming an entrepreneur. I focused on doing what I knew how to do best. I knew my skills were strong, and would carry me. Conventional wisdom in the therapy profession was to work for an organization for five to ten years first, build up a client base, and then strike out on one’s own. I was already on my own and had the clinical supervisor I needed to practice, so there was nothing more an organization could offer me.

Eventually I had to look at why I was doing what I was doing.

The “WHY” behind our actions is our purpose.

How many of you have a higher mission—and you’re thinking of becoming an entrepreneur because of that greater social mission?

To obtain success and continue to achieve, you must have purpose. A career is more than a paycheck. To find fulfillment, a career must also include purpose. Purpose isn’t simply wanting to be your own boss or having the necessary skills to make money.

For purpose to be complete, you need a trifecta of factors:

  1. Self-motivation (wanting to be your own boss)
  2. Skills, plus the ability and drive to make and manage money from those skills
  3. A higher mission

I learned that the hard way. I built a vision and was driven by my mission to help others. But I didn’t care about money enough. In fact, I was paying staff MORE than I made until I’d been in business for five or six years! Money just wasn’t enough of a motivator for me. I loved what I did so much that I told people I was willing to PAY to keep doing it.

Little did I know—I actually was!

There are many marginal entrepreneurs driven by the fact that they don’t want a boss and don’t want to answer to “The Man.” They’re self-motivated (or they have issues with authority), but it’s not enough to push them over the hump financially. Their mission is themselves—to gain their own independence.


Without a higher purpose, they’ll never find the success they’re looking for, even if they’re skilled and great money-managers.


Sometimes they’re like me because they didn’t care enough about money. The mission is there, the self-motivation, and the skills, but they’re missing the drive to make and manage money. Fortunately, in my case, I had done a lot of work and partnered well with authority, as I needed to. I was self-motivated, but all three factors have to be in place or you’ll end up going under.

Some entrepreneurs are very mission-oriented. So much so, that they suffer with their mission for the community. They sacrifice and feel bad about taking money for helping people. Unfortunately, a mission isn’t enough to sustain success for yourself or others. Growing a business (even in a helping profession) requires revenue.

Think of these three factors as a tripod or legs on a stool. If they aren’t all considered, you have a cockeyed stool that isn’t any good. It’s unstable. It won’t hold up.

So do a self-assessment and check your “why.” Make sure you aren’t just a pissy, reactive employee who doesn’t want a boss. Be sure you’re learning about money and how to manage, make, and save money to fund your life and your business. Consider your community and the larger picture, too.

Some questions to ask yourself:

  • Are you contributing to your employees?
  • How are you as a boss?
  • Are you contributing to the people that provide you with the goods and services you need to exist?
  • Are you contributing to the community?
  • Is there a larger vision for your business that your employees can orient to and align with?
  • Do your employees want the best for you and do you want the best for them?
  • Are they are proud that your business exists for the betterment of the community?
  • Are you?

These questions can help you shape your WHY and ensure you’re an entrepreneur with purpose. Purpose drives success and keeps you moving toward the bigger picture. Find your purpose.

For more on how you can inspire others, ignite your world and live your best life at home and in your career, please visit The Wright Foundation.


About the Author

Dr. Bob Wright

Dr. Bob Wright is an internationally recognized visionary, educator, program developer, leadership and sales executive, best-selling author and speaker. He is a co-founder of Wright and the Wright Graduate University.


Liked this post and want more? Sign up for updates – free!

Wright Foundation for the Realization of Human Potential is a leadership institute located in Chicago, Illinois. Wright Living performative learning programs are integrated into the curriculum at Wright Graduate University.

Coworker Conflict: How to Productively Deal with Disagreement

“Call out culture” is becoming more common. People used to pussyfoot around, avoiding saying how they really felt under the veil of “politeness.”

coworker conflict


They might have been passive aggressive about it…or they might have suppressed it and exploded later. They avoided confrontation, especially with coworkers or friends. Now, in the last few years, particularly online, there’s a shift to expressing how we feel more often—for some of us at least, we’ve seemingly found our “inner New Yorker.”

You might think this is unhealthy or a bad thing—but really, it is and it isn’t. It’s all about the intentionality behind your “call out.”

Speaking up, expressing your needs, wants and yearnings, and setting boundaries—these are all positive actions. They’re the fundamentals of engagement and expression. If it’s done with honesty and with intention, engagement is a force for good. Engagement brings about mutual respect, positive change, and even transformation.

So find your voice! Let it out! Stand up for yourself and refuse to be a doormat. Refuse to get sucked into someone’s drama! If someone treats you badly, saying, “Hey, I don’t deserve this” doesn’t make you a jerk, it makes you stronger. (Hey, if they ignore or dismiss you, then they’re the a**hole.)


Speak up! Stand up!
Engage in conflict and don’t back down.


We all want to be seen in the truth of who we really are. We want others to recognize us, to KNOW us and respect us. Engaging with another person is about reciprocity—they see you and you see them. You’re both acknowledging the humanity that exists within each of us. You’re both trying to understand each other and find common ground. It doesn’t mean you acquiesce or even agree about the topic, but you’re both listening and obeying the rules of engagement.

When Someone Doesn’t Stick to the Rules

On the flip side, there are cases, such as with social media, where there’s a perception that we can say whatever the hell we want. Things we would have never said to someone’s face, we now type as a comment on Facebook. We say things we’d never say in front of a crowd. Everyone has an opinion (and you know what they say); but under the veil of anonymity, we start to get it all out regardless of the stink.

There’s a balance. There’s making an intelligent argument, and engaging in discussion and dialogue. There are ways to fight fair, but “yelling about it” on the Internet is one-sided and disengaging. Hurling one-sided insults, threats or cuts is no way to affect positive change.

While technology can be a great tool, as it helps us learn, grow, connect, and expand our world, it can also be a place where people forget the consequences of their actions. People get themselves into real trouble—career-ending trouble—because they can stupidly forget that everything you post online has real-world repercussions.

Similarly, in the workplace, we might hear of collusion and things said behind closed doors. These have repercussions, too.

The “he said/she said” drama that often goes on in offices can cause real damage. Entertaining this type of drama only sucks you into the pattern of blame, shame and justification. One person becomes the victim, one person becomes the rescuer, and one person is the aggressor. We call this the “drama triangle.”

If this sounds familiar to you, maybe you grew up in a family where this was the norm or maybe you see these patterns in your marriage and in other relationships. The drama triangle is a repeating pattern that’s easy to get stuck in, and it can be hard to extricate yourself from the pattern.

Avoid the Drama Triangle

Learning instead, the rules of engagement, avoiding blame, shame and justification, and fighting fair can all help us keep things above board and moving forward. We talk more in depth about these important rules in our book The Heart of the Fight, in which you can learn to fight fairly and productively.

If someone at work does or says something you don’t like or agree with—let’s say they take credit for a project you did—do you discuss it with them directly?

  • Do you make snide comments during the rest of the presentation?
  • Do you give them the cold shoulder after?
  • Do you go around to your supervisor to blame them, so you can be rescued as the victim?
  • Do you post a “vent” about it on your social media page?
  • Do you plead your case to your coworkers, so they can swoop in and rescue you?
  • When the roles are reversed, do you swoop in on their behalf?

Direct action is always more productive than passive aggressive or “hidden middle finger” actions. Better yet, it keeps you out of the drama triangle.

When you go into a discussion, assume responsibility for your role and action in the situation, and assume goodwill on the part of your coworker. This can be a challenge, especially if you’ve built them up to be the villain. In reality, they may be coming from a place of insecurity or they might not even realize the consequence of their over-step.

When we go into a situation with guns ablaze and accusations flying, we can set ourselves up for a conversation that goes nowhere. Instead, remember one of the most important rules of engagement is to accentuate the positive. Another important rule? No one in any situation gets/takes more than 50% of the blame.

Does that mean it’s your fault if someone took credit for your work or if someone else instigates the argument? It’s not your “fault,” but it’s your responsibility to set appropriate boundaries, to communicate your expectations, and to express yourself in a direct manner now.


YOU are responsible for your own happiness—100% of it! If you’re unhappy with your job, your situation, or the way something was handled, it’s up to you to change it.


We often forget this, when we blame our coworkers for our dissatisfaction and frustrations at the office. It’s up to us to address the situation and express our feelings. We can then move forward or change our role (or even liberate ourselves from a negative situation), but we need to take back the power as being our own.

If you are unhappy with a situation at work, YOU have the power to change it. You have the power to engage productively and proactively. Speak up, stand up, and call out.

You don’t have to be rude—in fact, productive engagement is often the opposite. If you’re expressing yourself using the rules of engagement, you’ll approach it from a place of accentuating the positive, assuming responsibility, and not passing off the blame. This sets you up for a conversation that can move things forward and make things better.

So if you’re biting your tongue, or venting about your coworkers on social media or to the others in your office: stop. It’s time to man (or woman) up and engage the situation head on!

For more on how to get what you want out of you career, your relationships and your life as a whole, please visit us at the Wright Foundation website. Remember YOU have the power to change your world!


About the Author

 

Dr. Bob Wright is an internationally recognized visionary, educator, program developer, leadership and sales executive, best-selling author and speaker. He is a co-founder of Wright and the Wright Graduate University.


Liked this post and want more? Sign up for updates – free!

Wright Living is a division of the Wright Foundation for the Realization of Human Potential, a leadership institute located in Chicago, Illinois. Wright Living performative learning programs are integrated into the curriculum at Wright Graduate University.

Find Your Strengths to Get Ahead at Work

 

We all have skills, right? I bet you can probably list them right off your resume.


You might think I mean typing or data entry or understanding HTML—and sure, those certainly are skills, but they’re not what really makes you shine.

I’m not even talking about the things you studied in school or even what you went to college for—although, I’m sure what you’ve learned has helped you on your career path as well. Whether you’re a nurse or a teacher, or if you have an MBA, you’ve probably acquired some very job-specific skills.

While these skills are useful and will serve you well, they’re not what will really make you stand out from all the other nurses or teachers or managers. Those skills are important, but they won’t help you get ahead.

I’m not talking about those “resume skills”…I’m talking about strengths. To be successful, we each have to identify our own unique strengths.

Our strengths come from our personality profile.

You might be a great sales guy or gal and maybe you know how to close a deal like no other.

Maybe they call you in when they need to pull a team together and rally the troops. Perhaps you have the ability to create harmony in any situation.

Or maybe you’re a cheerleader who can bring energy to every project and get the whole team excited about performing.

Perhaps you’re the type who can assess a problem, target a solution and organize technical data without becoming overwhelmed…and maybe you even like it?

These strengths are inherent to YOU. They’re the things that make you special and differentiate you from the rest of the crowd at your office. They’re your social intelligence skills. They help you communicate with others and they shape the way you engage and interact with those around you. These strengths are the “energy” you bring to your team.

There are four core personality types—Cooperator, Analyzer, Regulator and Energizer (what we call the C.A.R.E. profile). For some of us, we may be surprised to learn our strengths aren’t where we thought.

The sooner you find your strengths, the sooner you’ll be on your way to advocating for yourself, building on your strengths, and overcoming areas that are not-so-strong. The sooner you identify your strengths, the sooner you’ll find your inner leader. Once you know your personality type, you’re taking your first steps toward emerging into your next, most radiant self.

Discover Your Leadership

Are you a leader?

Maybe you don’t think of yourself as someone who stands out. You might be an introvert. You might dread dealing with crowds or public speaking. Maybe the thought of talking in a meeting is enough to turn your stomach (or at least make you sweat).

Guess what? We can ALL be leaders. Each and every person has leadership within them. That’s right! Every person has the ability to bring a team together and inspire others to greatness. YOU can engage, you can listen, and you can inspire! You can lead from wherever you are.

Not everyone has to be the person who rallies the troops (the Energizer), or the one that goes in to make a hard sale (the Regulator)—but whether you’re leading your fellow IT members through a successful data mapping or you’re leading the nurses on your wing to more efficient procedures, there’s leadership within every person.

Learning to work within your personality type to play up your strengths and compensate for areas that might be less comfortable for you is part of increasing your social and emotional intelligence. The foundation and ability to achieve greatness is within each and every one of us.

We are all gifts. We bring our experiences, our knowledge, our strengths and our personality into each situation. We have a blend of experiences that’s uniquely our own. We can draw on those pieces in each new interaction and situation.

To discover your inner leader, you need to unlock your communication abilities and keep working on your social intelligence. Build on your personality strengths and use them as a launch pad for growth. Social intelligence helps you read and interact effectively with different personalities. It helps you “get along” with others…and it also helps you stand out from the crowd.


“We are all designed to live great lives. It is through being socialized that we limit our capacity. The good news is that we can reignite this natural capacity. We have no doubt that you’re capable of greatness. This is not starry-eyed optimism but pragmatic certainty. We’ve coached and trained many people who’ve achieved spectacular results in every area of their lives. They have learned to transform—that is, to consciously reignite their capacity to live ever-greatening lives.

If you think you want…to discover your next most radiant self, then get ready to have more fun, but also to get hurt more. There is no safety from pain—just a commitment to learning and growing from it. Radiance can take the form of laughter…Your next most radiant self will also be more open and less defensive and resistant, so you’ll experience more flow and aliveness. You’ll become increasingly real, sharing your pain and your joy, your anger and your fear, your gifts and your foibles. By continually developing emotional and social intelligence, you negotiate life’s inevitable knocks and problems with greater ease and benefits.”

Transformed! The Science of Spectacular Living


Is unlocking our personal strengths an easy task? Is it simple to discover our own personal power?

Yes and no. Transformation isn’t a switch you turn on and off, but a lifelong journey. Once you become your next most radiant self, you might realize there’s a NEXT even MORE radiant you beyond that, and beyond that…

Fortunately, as humans we have unlimited potential for greatness. We have the gift of neuroplasticity—the ability to grow and adapt our brains over time. When we reach adulthood, we don’t stop growing or learning, and in fact, the more we grow and learn the greater our capacity!

If you feel like you’ve stifled your inner leader, or you have the skills for the job but aren’t quite able to extract the leadership from your personality, examine where you fall on the profile, and use it as a guide to help you strengthen your social and emotional intelligence.

Within each person is a great leader. Find your strengths and challenge yourself to embrace them and you’re on your way to unlocking your next most radiant self!

For more on building your leadership, visit www.wrightliving.com. Go forth and ignite your world for a better tomorrow.


About the Author

Judith

Dr. Judith Wright is a media favorite, sought-after inspirational speaker, respected leader, peerless educator, bestselling author, & world-class coach. She is a co-founder of Wright and the Wright Graduate University.


Loving the content and want more? Follow Judith on Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest!

Liked this post and want more? Sign up for updates – free!

Wright Living is a division of the Wright Foundation for the Realization of Human Potential, a leadership institute located in Chicago, Illinois. Wright Living performative learning programs are integrated into the curriculum at Wright Graduate University.

New Year, New Start: Revive and Refresh Your Career Passion

When we ring in the New Year, we often feel an excitement and zest for the potential of what’s to come. A New Year means 365 days of possibilities, new connections & opportunities to learn, connect & thrive.

new year career goals


 

Do you love what you do for a living? This question often comes up this time of year, so we start doing some self-assessment.

Sometimes we can also feel reflective and even a little sad or nostalgic. We might have regrets from the past year or unfinished goals we set out to accomplish but came up short. Even if you don’t subscribe to the tradition of setting “New Year’s Resolutions,” it’s impossible to avoid the sense of putting the prior year to bed and moving into a new beginning where you anticipate new actions you’ll need to take.

The New Year is full of untapped potential just waiting for us.

Revise Resolutions All Year Long

Resolutions aren’t simply for the New Year, though. When we only visit our vision and goals one time a year, we’re surely setting ourselves up for some missed opportunities and regret.

To operate at peak performance, our brains prefer constant learning, growth, and stimulation. When things get stale and stagnant, our brains actually become dulled and subdued. We have to have new experiences, master new skills and professional development opportunities, and seek out chances to stretch ourselves and find our spark.

Our resolutions, whether for the New Year or otherwise, give us a chance to set goals and push ourselves toward the things we want. They give us a chance to check in with our inner “coordinator” and self-governance. Are we really working toward the things most important to our hearts? What steps are we taking to achieve what we want and to get to our next goal?

We should constantly and consistently be revisiting our goals and focusing on our vision to keep moving forward to the next peak. Our vision is our big-picture map and guide.

ENGAGE and Get Back to the Fun Side of Work

When we discover new possibilities on the horizon or when we’re at the beginning of a journey, we must first identify what we want: the deep drivers that we call our yearnings. If our vision is the big picture, then our yearnings are our inner-GPS.

Yearnings are deeper than simple wants. I might want to make money at my job, but I yearn to be recognized as successful. We yearn to be seen, to connect, to succeed. We yearn for safety and comfort. It’s meeting those yearnings that fulfills us.

Once we’ve identified our yearnings (which is no small task), we start to engage. Engaging is responding to our yearnings and ceasing to repress or ignore these important drivers. As we engage, we start to change our behavior, connect with others, and feel like we’ve ‘jumped in the game’ of life.

Engaged people are in the game. They’re going for what they want. They have a sense of purpose. If there’s something they don’t understand or know, they speak up. They embrace conflict and see it as a way to move themselves forward. They don’t shy away from tough situations or challenges. To feel passion and vigor, we must be engaged.

For many, this awareness of a need to reengage can come after a period of feeling sidelined. Maybe those around you are achieving their goals and you’re feeing behind, or maybe they don’t even HAVE goals and they’re just satisfied with the status quo. If you’ve surrounded yourself in an environment of goal-getters and driven engagers but you’ve lost your passion, it’s time to reengage and figure out how you can meet your yearnings. Use their engagement to inspire you and drive you. Ask them how they do it, and listen to what they have to say.

If, on the other hand, you’re at a job where everyone seems to be lackluster and phoning it in, maybe you need to rethink your role and position to find something that meets your energy and stimulates your mind.

Revelate

If your office staff and coworkers fall somewhere in between engaged and lackluster, surround yourself with those who are really going for it and pushing themselves. At the same time, figure out new ways you can ignite not only your passion but also the passions of those you work with.

The best way to become a beacon of engagement in the office? By refocusing on your vision—the articulation of not only your goals as an office but your ultimate ideal as a company. If everyone’s stressed out, burnt out and sick of each other, coming in at the New Year after a holiday break can be a great time to really hit the ground running.


Revelating is a term that describes both the awareness of ourselves and of new possibilities as well as the act of revealing ourselves in expression. Revelating can be inspirational, like discovering a new possibility for a course of action…We realize we’ve been managed by…limited thinking that has been holding us back, restricting our happiness and fulfillment. As we start to act differently, revelating helps us start thinking differently.

Transformed! The Science of Spectacular Living


The New Year is a great time to revelate! In fact, the New Year is synonymous with revelating. Now is the time to revelate, discover the new possibilities and how to get there, and look at what you can do to start thinking and acting in a way that will propel you to a year of success!

Work on Your Vision

As you work on revelating and igniting others around you to do the same, let your vision be your guide. Think about your company values. How do you see your role in the company changing this year? What is the big-picture vision for both your career and life in general, and do they sync up?

When we have a vision, it guides us and keeps us in line. It helps us to know if we’re serving our customers and clients, and if we’re actually making a difference in what we do. It’s that knowledge—the awareness that we’re actually mattering to the world and doing something positive—that’s so powerful and motivating. No matter what your line of work, from artist to non-profit coordinator to commercial banker, you have to identify the bigger “why does this work matter?” question, answer it, and work toward that continued goal.

Go forth into the New Year with a renewed sense of focus and a clear vision in your mind. What do you want your life to look like at the close of next year? What changes do you hope to make, and how will you be discovering your yearnings, engaging and revelating by this time next year?


Happy New Year! If you’re looking for more ways to grow and unlock your potential, please join us for our upcoming Foundations Weekend Training, where you’ll learn the skills to unlock your best self.


About the Author

Dr. Bob Wright is an internationally recognized visionary, educator, program developer, leadership and sales executive, best-selling author and speaker. He is a co-founder of Wright and the Wright Graduate University.


Wright Living is a division of the Wright Foundation for the Realization of Human Potential, a leadership institute located in Chicago, Illinois. Wright Living performative learning programs are integrated into the curriculum at Wright Graduate University.Liked this post and want more? Sign up for updates – free!

Jumpstart Your Resolve:
Have a Healthy, Joyous Holiday!

How many of us whip up our New Year’s Resolutions after spending the week prior to New Year’s Eve stressed out and just trying to make it through the hustle, bustle and excess of the holidays?

new years resolve


 

Anyone who’s had too much eggnog or too many cookies knows exactly what I’m talking about. When we overdo it over the holidays, we can come into the New Year feeling more sluggish than motivated.

The holidays can be a great time of joy and wonder, but they can also be a time of stress and hurriedness. We’re trying to finish up projects at work, fit in family time, give the perfect gifts, and keep everything running up to our expectations. Then there’s the decorations and the food and the social obligations and the family drama.

We can become overwhelmed, uninspired and a tad…Grinchy.

It’s time to let the wonder and joy BACK into your holiday season! Instead of spending the week between Christmas and New Year’s letting your old habits die hard, spend the week getting a jumpstart on the new routines and habits you hope to aspire to and resolve that first week of January!

A Week to Get Things in Line

As you enjoy Christmas, Chanukah or just the “winter break,” give yourself some respite and moments to truly bask in the wonder and joy of the holiday season. Find quiet times to reflect and do the things you find affirming and rejuvenating. This can be as simple as reading by the fire or enjoying the lights on the tree with the kids. It can mean going through your old photos or slides with family and laughing about memories. Connect, engage, laugh, and listen to those around you.

One of the most important parts of keeping up our stamina in the winter months is to get outdoors and enjoy the brisk weather. If you’re facing a very white Christmas (as we seem to be facing here in Chicago) then don’t just stow away and hibernate!

Take walks or get yourself to the gym, practice daily meditation and reflection. Stay away from soft addictions like television, too much food and drink, or even social media. How many families will be sitting around the table this season really connecting and engaging with one another and how many will be looking at their phones?

If this sounds like your crew, ask them to check their phones at the door or make a concerted effort to get everyone involved. Express your interest and make it your goal to discover something new about each person you meet over the holidays.

This week between the holidays is a great opportunity to make some reflections. What are the things you want to put to bed with the year? Are there limiting beliefs you need to let go of? What’s been holding you back?

Take some time to journal and reflect on your social and emotional growth and your thoughts for the year. Give thanks for the wonderful experiences and learning opportunities the year has brought you and the takeaways you’ll carry forward into the upcoming year. Put to rest the old ideas that no longer serve you and look at the New Year as a fresh start and a chance to launch into your best self.

Don’t Put Off Your Resolve

Just like diets, resolutions don’t work if they aren’t made up of lasting changes. When we see something as a temporary change, it just won’t stick. We have to adjust our thinking to embrace a new lifestyle or a new approach.

When we look at January 1st as the day we wake up anew, it puts an awful lot of pressure on January 2nd. If we drop the ball, the New Year is already a bust, so we might as well give up for the next 364 days, right?

Instead, don’t think of resolutions with an all-or-nothing mindset. Look at them with a growth mindset and think of how you can use mistakes and setbacks as another chance to build up your grit, change your coping strategies, and come back even stronger than before.

Growth and change don’t happen overnight. You won’t wake up as a brand new person on the first of the year with different yearnings and inclinations, or different beliefs and coping strategies. You will be the same person as before—growth and change take time. Yes, they’re constant, but rarely fast. Growth is a series of steady, progressive steps.

Focus on the changes you can make right now, today! Even if it’s not yet the New Year…even if it’s the middle of July! There’s no time like the present to jump in and decide to start to engage more deeply, to embrace more lovingly, and to live your life more fully.

This year, resolve to continue to grow and evolve all year long. Find ways you can stretch yourself and push your boundaries beyond your comfort zone, whether it’s in the office, among your friends, or with your family.


Make this your best year ever!
Happy Holidays from all of us at Wright.


About the Author

Dr. Judith Wright is a media favorite, sought-after inspirational speaker, respected leader, peerless educator, bestselling author, & world-class coach. She is a co-founder of Wright and the Wright Graduate University.


Loving the content and want more? Follow Judith on Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest!

Liked this post and want more? Sign up for updates – free!

Wright Living is a division of the Wright Foundation for the Realization of Human Potential, a leadership institute located in Chicago, Illinois. Wright Living performative learning programs are integrated into the curriculum at Wright Graduate University.

What Motivates You?
Here’s How To Find Your Spark!

Finding out what motivates you is an interesting process, especially seeing as we’re all driven for different reasons. It’s about finding that deep down stirring that pushes you.

It’s what makes you get up in the morning, put your pants on, and get out the door.

Maybe you’re motivated by a desire to nurture and care for those around you. Some of us want power or control. Some of us are motivated by praise from our colleagues or boss. Some of us are motivated by cold hard cash (or think we are). Deep inside of each of us, though, something drives us.

We’ve all had days when we just aren’t feeling it. We phone it in, trudge off to the office, and give less than our best. We ALL have days like that. Maybe you didn’t sleep well, maybe you’re coming down with something, or perhaps there’s a personal concern weighing on your mind. Whatever it is, you know your heart just isn’t in your work. Your mind is off, and you just don’t feel like being there.

Having one or two days of feeling unmotivated isn’t such a concern. It’s normal, and it happens to all of us. However, weeks of feeling unmotivated and lackluster can indicate a deeper problem—a loss of desire, a loss of drive, and a falling out of touch with our yearnings.

We’re designed to be driven—but we must find our authentic selves. Maslow saw our drive as the desire for self-actualization and the realization of our full potential.

So how do you find what motivates you? What would “make” us be our best and give it our all every day? Psychologists have determined it’s about finding the meaning in our lives and embarking on a path where we’re constantly improving and growing as people. So how can you get there?

 
Designed to Transform

Our brains are pretty amazing. Deep within our neural circuitry, we’ve developed neuroplasticity: the ability to build new circuits and form new neural pathways, allowing us to learn, adapt, engage and constantly grow—and love the process! We’re not simply creatures of habit, or driven only by our biological imperatives and instincts. We are constantly learning and growing from each experience. We’re adapting and changing.

We can literally change our brains and our minds, and what we believe, who we are, and how we live. We can transform.

The very fact that we have neuroplasticity lets us know that we possess these amazing capabilities. Our transformation circuits are only activated, however, with our conscious choice and intent, through the stimulation of novelty and focused attention, as well as through our yearnings and emotions, which signal to our brains, “Pay attention, this matters!” Such attention not only rewires the circuitry of our brains, but it also affects the expression of our genes.

We are designed to seek, to be curious, to discover. When we are thrilled about the world of ideas and divining meaning, our seeking circuits are firing, activating one of the pleasure centers in our brains. We are in a state of eagerness and directed purpose—a state we human beings love to be in. This thrill of anticipating reward motivates us to act…


…We are designed to be explorers, and when we explore, our brains light up with pleasure. It is the novelty, not the outcome, that most delights our brain and activates our neuroplasticity. Our brains are never “happier” than when we are learning new things, stretching just beyond our current capacities. This is where we build new circuitry and develop mastery.

Transformed! The Science of Spectacular Living


That transformational spirit and desire to explore, grow, engage and deepen our understanding keeps us moving. When we’re connecting with those around us, listening to what others want, and finding ways to work toward our goals and vision together, we’re going to feel that spark!

You know those moments when it happens. Say you’re in a meeting and you totally nail it. The words that come out of your mouth are confident and thought out. You have a clear picture of what you want. You’re listening to those around you and sharing in their vision as well as your own—there’s a dynamic atmosphere, a synchronicity that just can’t be denied.

Understand Your Yearnings, Find What Motivates You

So if you feel like you’ve lost your mojo, and you’re feeling down and just not reaching like you once did, it’s time to figure out how you can connect, grow and push yourself!

What does that mean for you? It means you need to get back in the game. Volunteer for a project you’re holding back on, sign up for professional development courses, or take classes and training to get you to the next level in your job. Even learning a new task or how to use new technology or software will give you a little bounce and boost.

As our brains learn and discover new things, we find out what we really want, and we become happier. Those neuropathways are formed and we start to feel more alert, more alive, and more motivated to achieve our goals.

Explore a deeper understanding of your yearnings. Our yearnings are more than simple wants or desires. They’re the very fabric of our motivation and they propel us forward toward our goals. Understanding the yearnings within our hearts can help us unlock the path to our goals. We can see what drives us and what accomplishments will give us the most pleasure and satisfaction.

To feel more motivated, we have to connect with those around us. We have to listen, hear them out, and gain an appreciation for their humanity. Does that mean you’re going to like everyone you work with? No, of course not, but you should be open to hearing everyone’s ideas around the table. When people know you’re listening, they’re more likely to share and find ways to reach a common consensus and goal.

Lastly, to stay motivated, we have to stay healthy. We can’t zone out in front of the television, check out by scanning social media, or get caught up in comparing ourselves to those around us. We have to care for ourselves by getting rest, exercise, and spending time doing the things that make us feel healthy, strong and ready to go.

Keeping up your motivation isn’t as difficult as it can feel on a Monday morning when your alarm goes off. Work to discover new things about yourself, make an effort to grow, and explore the inner workings of your heart—and you’ll find what motivates you, and get that spark back in your life.

For more on unlocking your motivation and discovering what you really want, visit us for an upcoming Foundations Training Weekend. Learn more at www.wrightliving.com.


About the Author

Judith

Dr. Judith Wright is a media favorite, sought-after inspirational speaker, respected leader, peerless educator, bestselling author, & world-class coach. She is a co-founder of Wright and the Wright Graduate University.
Loving the content and want more? Follow Judith on Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest!


Liked this post and want more? Sign up for updates – free!

Wright Living is a division of the Wright Foundation for the Realization of Human Potential, a leadership institute located in Chicago, Illinois. Wright Living performative learning programs are integrated into the curriculum at Wright Graduate University.

Inspire and Ignite :
How to Be a Better Leader

 

When you talk, do the people you’re working with perk up and listen…or do your words fall on deaf ears? Do you feel like you’re constantly yelling or frustrated by the “attitude of apathy” your coworkers or subordinates direct your way?


Maybe it’s time to reconsider your approach and learn how to be a better leader.

Many so-called “leaders” talk and give lip service; they drive through fear and threats of scarcity. They bully, they pout—essentially, they act like big babies, whining until they get their way. Or they act like big toddlers, bossing around their peers and threatening to take things away and punish if they don’t get the results they want.

Don’t believe me? Look at our current political climate (or take a step back and look at the climate in your own office). Are all the people in charge inspiring confidence or are they fearmongering? This climate of fear and stress is an epidemic in many workplaces throughout our country and it’s taking a toll on both workers and leaders alike. People in positions of authority are making themselves miserable and they don’t know how to fix it.

This mismanagement and bossy leadership is particularly rampant in middle management. It’s indicative of people in positions of supervision, but without the autonomy to really affect the change and inspire the kind of work they need to extract from their team. It’s a sign of someone losing his or her grip on control—control they often didn’t need to grasp onto to begin with.

Bully management and demeaning bossiness isn’t real leadership. You might get your team to perform, but inside you know they aren’t fulfilled and they won’t embrace the work as their own. They’ll perform on a mediocre level, phoning it in and doing what you demand, but never taking any steps to go above and beyond.

You’ve got to put the heart and soul back into your team. It’s likely they don’t understand their purpose or share your vision, which are the keys to great performance. Unlocking our purpose inspires us to greatness.

As leaders we will either instill confidence, or we will instill fear and doubt.

Which kind of leader do you want to be?

Taking the Steps to Be a Better Leader

If you’re wondering how to be a better leader, the first step is realizing leadership requires more than simply a loud mouth and cockiness or making a list of demands. You don’t have to be bossy to be a boss.

Leaders don’t have to know it all (or even half). I know many great leaders, CEOs and directors who don’t know half of the technical stuff their staff knows. Yet, they inspire them to perform at a high level, and they get results. They understand the importance of a team. They hire people who know what they’re doing and take pride in their work. They don’t micromanage or nitpick, but they step back and give employees the chance to rise to greatness.

The secret of how to be a better leader is to have a solid grasp on what makes people tick. If we look at great leaders like Martin Luther King Jr., Vince Lombardi and John F. Kennedy, we can see they were great because they understood their audience. They had a great deal of social and emotional intelligence.

They lead by inspiration, not by force.

Does inspiring leadership come naturally? No, of course not! Leadership is a skill that’s learned and built upon. It comes from learning how to help people evolve and transform; leadership grows from helping people find their own greatness within and discovering ways to extract that greatness and apply it.

Unless you directly report to the CEO (or are the CEO), chances are you report to someone, and they report to someone above them. In this chain of reporting and accountability, we all strive to make ourselves appear important. We’re longing for the acknowledgment, praise, and reception of our work indicating we’re special, unique and indispensable.

The real secret to great leadership isn’t in letting go of this longing or yearning to be special and important. The real secret in how to be a great leader is the realization that if your team looks great, YOU look great. If your team succeeds, you all succeed! So rather than focusing on climbing up the ladder by stepping on those below you, you must focus on how to lift up everyone—how to elevate the entire office.

Raising Your E.Q.

Where does the ability to engage with others, transform and elevate those around you come from? It’s a direct result of your social and emotional intelligence. You might have a PhD from MIT or an MBA from Harvard, but if you don’t have the emotional intelligence you need, you’ll never be an effective leader.

Transformational leaders understand this and they work to evoke their empathy in all their interactions. They share their vision with the team—not the vision they want for themselves or the way they want the company to grow for their own personal gain—but the vision they have for everyone involved. They find ways to bring out the success in every single member of their office, from the intern and the entry-level clerk to the CFO and the Chairman of the Board. They listen and they learn. It’s not about the money, the power or the fame—it’s about making a difference in the lives they touch.

No matter what you do in your business—whether you’re a teacher, an artist, a software developer or a lawyer, you can lead others by exploring what makes them tick. You can find success by figuring out where the overlap happens in the Venn diagram of your success and vision, and the vision of your customers, clients, and coworkers. How does the widget you make or the service you perform make the world a better place?

Understanding things on an intellectual level isn’t enough. You have to connect with the emotions, the empowerment—the heart of what you’re doing. You have to engage with others.


“Many people, including some very smart people, have a lot going on in their minds but are unable to translate all this mental activity into action. Or they take action, but only within the confines of their regular routines, rarely doing or saying anything that varies from what they’ve always done or said. In these situations, it’s very difficult to take action in ways that are congruent with their yearning, to experience emotional involvement in their words and deeds and to learn and grow.

If you need further evidence that real engaging is worth the effort, consider that prominent scientists offer highly motivating evidence that you have to engage in two distinct areas—feeling and doing. They make it clear that intellectual engagement is insufficient. You have to recognize and honor your emotions and get off your kiester and act!” from Transformed! The Science of Spectacular Living


In other words, you can’t lead, inspire or bring forth your vision by reasoning it to death. You have to bring others on board and explore things with them on an emotional level. You have to ignite, excite, impassion and get them involved to take things to knock your entire team up a notch (or several)!

For more on how you can bring out your best leadership skills and become a stronger leader wherever you are, please visit www.wrightliving.com. Go forth and make the world a better place! Join us for our next Foundations Weekend Training to jumpstart your social and emotional intelligence.

 


About the Author

Dr. Bob Wright

Dr. Bob Wright is an internationally recognized visionary, educator, program developer, leadership and sales executive, best-selling author and speaker. He is a co-founder of Wright and the Wright Graduate University.


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Wright Living is a division of the Wright Foundation for the Realization of Human Potential, a leadership institute located in Chicago, Illinois. Wright Living performative learning programs are integrated into the curriculum at Wright Graduate University.