Recently, Judith and I were working on a keynote to help people identify their deeper yearnings behind everything they do.
What came to mind while we were writing was Sally Field’s acceptance speech at the 1985 Academy Awards. Her acceptance speech began with a warm acknowledgement of many others. She finished by saying that she could not feel the acknowledgment of her peers who voted Best Actress for her five years before, but this time she could feel it. She exclaimed, “You like me! Right now, you like me!.” This was a very clear yearning, a genuine expression of authentic warmth and vulnerability. For this open expression of yearning, she was widely mocked and reviled. Is it any surprise that it takes huge courage to be authentic and genuinely express our deepest yearnings, to even let ourselves know what they are?
We may not choose to wear our hearts on our sleeves quite as vulnerably as Sally Field; however, the price we pay for being out of touch with, and failing to follow our deeper yearning is a life of less fulfillment, warmth, and love. After all, isn’t that what we all yearn for? To exist, see and be seen, to touch and be touched, to have influence, express our will, belong, fulfill our potential, be a contribution to humanity, and to have contact with the Divine.
One of the lessons to take from this is to look beneath our goals and identify the deeper yearning. If you want to lose weight, that’s a great goal! But let’s identify the “so what?” behind it. For example, “I want to lose weight so that I will be able to wear my more attractive clothes….And I want to wear these clothes so that folks will like me…And I want them to like me so that I can be positively seen…And I want that so that I can feel good about myself… And I want to feel good about myself so that I can love myself more.” This gives us a direct line to working on feeling good about ourselves and loving ourselves that should help us lose the weight, or express genuinely and vulnerably, and fulfill many more yearnings beyond that.
My sister, a sales person, gave a ringing endorsement on how going directly for satisfying her yearnings led to greater contact and sales with her customers and she even enjoyed herself a lot more.
The conclusion…. Yearn and Engage!
Do you want to know what your yearnings are so you can fulfill your goals? Download Two Free Chapters of Transformed! The Science of Spectacular Living and find out what they are so you can catch more of them in the moment!