Wright Foundation | August 20, 2015

How to Gain Feedback Without Being a Nag

Inviting feedback about your job performance is always a good idea, but what if that feedback isn’t coming your way?

By definition, a nag is someone who asks for something over and over again. While you don’t want to nag about it, receiving input and advice is critical if you’re going to meet expectations at your job or anywhere else. The best and most efficient way to get feedback is to ask specific questions. Try asking your supervisor:

Be sure to be specific. These questions empower others to coach you, so you can retrieve the specific information you need to improve your performance and be more successful.


“What if People are Wrong About Me?”

If people aren’t taking you seriously or if you feel that the personality your coworkers have “assigned” to you is false or misleading, instead of playing the blame game, look at how you’re presenting yourself to the world and what you’re communicating about yourself in the workplace.

Perhaps something about your demeanor or attitude (such as your voice, expression, dress, or how you carry yourself) is creating an external locus of control, meaning you’re looking to others for assurance in your behaviors. Tightening your internal locus of control means people will start looking towards you to define the real you, instead. If you’re demonstrating a need for reassurance, that behavior could easily cause your colleagues to take you less seriously. Instead, define yourself.


Change Isn’t Easy, But We Can All Learn to Invite Feedback

Perhaps you have a hard time receiving feedback. Think about the last time you received feedback. If it rubbed you the wrong way, you may be experiencing a limiting belief associated with that feedback. Perhaps you subconsciously believe the world doesn’t want you to be powerful or that you don’t deserve respect…? These limiting beliefs can cause us to get defensive instead of accepting criticism and learning from our experiences.

Receiving feedback and implementing change isn’t all about what you do and how you present yourself externally. It’s also an ongoing developmental task—living up to your next, more radiant self.

Focusing on what new behavior will replace each old behavior enables us to be more empowered and focused. So you’re not going to “nag” less—instead, you’re going to learn to communicate more effectively.

So invite feedback and embrace the responses you receive to learn and grow more each day—and to be more successful at work.


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Blog post image courtesy: Flickr user cogdog.


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