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Wright Team | September 16, 2015

How to Date a Busy Person—
and How to Date
When You’re Busy!

How many of us feel like we just don’t have time to date? There’s barely enough time some days to work, feed ourselves, exercise and shower…let alone form a meaningful connection with another person!


 

Well, it’s time to date smarter. Dating, like any interactive, growth-oriented experience should have a goal in mind, a plan of execution, a timeframe (and yes, possibly a contingency plan when needed).

In your career, you don’t make time for unproductive activities. In your personal life, you focus on being your best self, growing, learning and feeding your needs. Why should your dating life be any different? Why should we fill our dating time with soft addictions and time fillers like Netflix or mindless entertainment, where we are in the same room, literally SPENDING time, but not making a connection?

What To Do When Your Date Says “I’m Too Busy”

This one’s an easy one, but it might not be an answer you want to hear—if your date is too busy, then you shouldn’t be dating them.

“Wait…but they’re the CEO of a big company and they’re finishing their PhD on the side, and they recently started to train for a marathon….”

Well, that means that they’re not making dating (or you) a priority in their life right now, and you need to find someone who values their time with you as much as you value your time with them.

Somehow in the course of our busy days we all find time to do the things we LOVE or see as non-negotiables. Maybe for you it’s yoga classes or running. Maybe it’s walking your dog, doing your hair, or reading the morning paper. Whatever those things are, you do them because you value them. You make time for them because you see these activities as important.

Dating should be just as important, if it’s something you both see as necessary at this juncture in your life. If your date wants to date you, they’ll make time for you—end of story.

Creative Dating Time Management

Maybe you won’t have time to do mindless, endless activities with your dates, like movies or concerts. Your time may be condensed, but look at this as a positive. By boiling down your dating activities to those things that really matter—important conversations, principles, shared goals and the real “nitty-gritty” of getting to know someone, you cut out all the B.S.

Take a cue from speed dating and business networking events—sometimes you ask the most pointed questions when your time is very limited. Meet for a morning coffee, a mid-workday lunch, or perhaps try a Skype or FaceTime date while you’re traveling. It’s really about sharing time with the other person—make that person, not the activity, the precedence.

Meeting New People

When you’re busy it can be difficult to meet people. If you don’t spend time lingering around bars, at singles events, clubs, or other nightlife hotspots, you might find that meeting a real, live “normal” human being can be, well, a challenge.

Again, consider the way you would conduct a job search. You’d consult your network, look at shared connections, put your best, but most honest foot forward and make sure your resume (or profile) reflects the important details. Do the same with your dating life. If you date online, be sure you’re honest, genuine and upfront with your profile. Say what you’re expecting and state your goals.

When you value your time, you may find that you go through more dating partners—simply because you aren’t throwing your time around with someone that you know isn’t right. It’s not about just getting a free lunch or going to find something mutually entertaining. If you take time out of your busy schedule, it needs to be worth it.

If you’re still struggling, try a professional matchmaker or executive match service. This can help you narrow down the field and find more potential dates who are on your level and share your lifestyle, schedule and priorities.

Screen Your Dates

No one has time for a bad date. Do both of yourselves a favor and have the courtesy to politely end it, if need be. It might seem harsh at first but if you’re sitting through a conversation that you know is quickly going south, it’s worth your time and theirs to be upfront, direct, and honest—it’s time to say, “thanks but no thanks.”

Spending your time with someone that feels “worthy” of your limited hours is exciting. You’ll find more quality, less quantity gets you much further in the dating world.

If you’re hearing from your dates that they don’t feel you have enough time for them (and you are genuinely interested), then it’s time to examine what might be holding you back. Are you afraid of getting hurt? Are you hiding what you really want? Are you not conveying your needs and being honest and open with them?

Being vulnerable enough to take time to bond with another person and be your honest and true self can be very scary, but it can also lead to amazing and wonderful things. Opening up your heart (and your schedule) to another person requires a level of trust and desire that you may not have with everyone. You may not even have it with anyone right now and that’s okay too.

If you decide your schedule is simply too busy for dating, be honest with yourself about why you’re choosing not to make it a priority right now. It’s very empowering to admit that you’re not open to dating for the next few months because you’re focusing on your personal growth and you’re not in an emotional position to be with another person right now. That’s a much stronger reason than the simple excuse of “I’m too busy.”

Approach each person with genuine honesty and openness. Be true to yourself and your principles and you’ll find that your schedule won’t hold you back.

For more ideas on authenticity and love, visit Wright Now and explore our selection of courses and webinars. We offer resources to help you discover more about yourself, your relationships, and your career. So start living a life of MORE today!

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About the Author

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Monica is the Admissions Coordinator and Marketing Specialist at the Wright Graduate University. As the admissions coordinator and head of marketing for WGU, Monica oversees recruiting, student admissions, customer services and marketing efforts.


Blog post image courtesy Flickr user alville.

Wright Living is a division of the Wright Foundation for the Realization of Human Potential, a leadership institute located in Chicago, Illinois. Wright Living performative learning programs are integrated into the curriculum at Wright Graduate University.

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