When we hear “likes,” many of us think of social media. We’re always “liking” and “sharing” on Facebook and Instagram, right? Chances are if you’ve spent any time on social media today, you’ve expressed a few likes already. But are those “likes” really giving you the same satisfaction as telling someone what you like in real life?  What about receiving likes in return? Yes, we may get a quick thrill when we see that a friend liked our photo or commented on our post, but that boost is fleeting. We see it, and it’s quickly forgotten.

Suppose you’re looking for a deeper satisfaction than a “thumbs up” on Facebook. In that case, it may be time to explore how expressing, sharing, and receiving likes from your social circle can lead to greater connections and engagement. It’s time to boost your “like” life!

Why Don’t You Express Your Likes?

So we all express likes on social media, but when we like something in real life, we might not say anything at all. We could get even more of a mental and emotional boost from real-life likes, but they go unexpressed.

Many times, when we like something our friend, coworker or partner says or does, we hold back or let it go. Sometimes we even hold back from expressing simple likes—a movie we enjoyed, a song we like, an activity we enjoy. Why is that? It seems counter-intuitive, right?

There are several reasons we might not speak up about our likes (and dislikes). We may think it’s unimportant or unnecessary to speak up. Or we may fear the vulnerability that can come from expressing the truth. We know that when we express our likes, we’re opening ourselves up. We’re sharing something that touched us, spoke to our emotions, or struck our fancy. Stating that truth opens us up to another person coming along and saying, “What’s wrong with you. That’s stupid!”

In reality, if we enjoy something, then someone else’s feelings about it shouldn’t change our opinion. Liking is an emotional response that comes from within. There are no “bad” emotions. If someone doesn’t share our sentiment, it doesn’t make our feelings any less valid.

Sometimes, we may hold back from expressing our likes because we forget to appreciate the moment. We get busy, and mindfulness goes out the window. We zone out and become less conscious of what is happening around us. We forget about the power that comes from affirming and liking others. We overlook the positivity expressing likes can bring into our lives. We naturally move towards pleasure and away from pain—the more we intend and express our likes, the more pleasant experiences and things we’ll draw to us.

Sometimes we aren’t sure what we like, but we often know what we dislike. It’s also worth noting that sometimes “dislikes” can come from fear. When someone proclaims their dislike of an activity, it may be stemming from insecurity and uncertainty. We think we don’t like it, because we can’t do it well—the activity is uncomfortable or unfamiliar. It forces us out of our comfort zone.  We think to ourselves, “I don’t like this.”

To the same end, we should be careful about quickly judging what we don’t like. Often, those judgments reflect activities or behaviors that aren’t yet familiar to us, that we really don’t have experience with, or that are new and strange to us. To know what we like, we need to experiment even more to see how things truly affect us, rather than deciding ahead of time. Perhaps if we experimented, we might be surprised to find we actually like it!

Get More Likes by Giving More Likes

If you want to get more likes in your life, it’s simple. You need to put forth more likes first. When talking about likes, think of positive affirmations, compliments, pats on the back, and “way to go” cheers. When we compliment someone and share positive feedback, we’re creating a connection. We’re creating a ripple effect of positivity. We’re building a rapport.

The easiest way to start a conversation with a stranger? Compliment them! Now don’t just make it up, of course. Look at them, listen to them—be present and ENGAGE with them. When this happens, we’re seeing them for who they really are, and we will often notice real things we like about them. Speak up and even more positive aspects will come to light. Authentic compliments are powerful stuff.

When a person receives positive feedback or a “like” in real life, they instantly feel drawn to the person who gave it to them. They feel more positively toward the feedback-giver. Suppose you want someone to like you, then like them first–this is called reciprocal liking, and sociologists have found that this technique works in building friendships, relationships, and work partnerships. When we like someone, they often will naturally like us back.

Meaningful likes are even better for building that connection. Think about how great we feel when a coworker tells us that we did a great job in a meeting, or they were impressed by the way we handled a situation. Yes, it’s nice to get a compliment on our hair, shoes, or choice of outfit, but it’s even more fulfilling when another person notices us for our actions and positive attributes.

When someone recognizes our intent and meets it with positive affirmation, we feel seen and recognized.

Now, many of us may feel strange about giving affirmations to get, right? It’s not really a compliment if the intention is only to receive one back. But when we’re present, engaged, and in the moment, a genuine compliment comes naturally. We’re connecting with another person, and they will see us in the light for who we truly are. We’re putting forth positivity and will receive positivity in return.

Not only does affirming, liking, and giving out positivity bring positivity back to us, but it also simply makes us feel good. When we express likes for someone or something, we feel a surge of affirmation.

As we grow and seek a life of more fulfillment, we may find ourselves liking even more. The more satisfaction we have in our lives, the more we bring to us. We call this FLOW. The more fulfilled we are, the more we radiate and bring in even more positivity.  You will radiate and attract more of whatever it is you want—that’s the real law of attraction.

How Liking Speaks to Our Deeper Yearning

When we tell a coworker or friend we like what they are doing, they’re more likely to do it again. Our desire, expressed through our agreement, has encouraged them to continue their behavior or way of being. On many levels, our likes create momentum in the direction we desire.

Genuine liking reflects our deepest yearning—what nourishes and fulfills us. When we like, we’re expressing our yearning to be seen, to be heard, to be affirmed.

Our words have power because we’re declaring a position and making a commitment. A “like”—something we like or are agreeable to—suggests we have a desire, a passion. We feel attracted to or take pleasure in someone’s actions, and our “like” impacts that person.

Our agreements also hold great power. When we agree, it suggests harmony of opinion, action, or character. We strengthen the position of or increase the value of whatever we agree with. Conversely, studies have shown that when we disagree with others, they tune us out (and strengthen their own opinion).  We often influence an outcome by merely aligning to it or finding parts of it that we can align to.

Our agreement not only promotes a statement or concept but also reflects a position or a stand we’re taking. And agreements don’t always need to be spoken. Our silent agreement is just as powerful (sometimes more powerful) than our spoken words.

Discover the power of liking and agreeing. Experiment and develop more clearly defined preferences by expressing likes and agreeing in business meetings and with family. We can let people know our likes and agreements. Show people what we like and what we agree with by language like, “I really like…” and “I agree with…” Lead with the positive to build rapport throughout the interaction.

As we build up our “like” muscle, we’ll learn to better express preferences with employees, coworkers, family, and friends. We should like and agree with things that are good for us, serve us, empower us, and fulfill us. By doing so, we’ll reinforce movement, activities, people, and directions. We’ll get MORE of what we want in our life by learning to “like” in real life.

If you’re ready to receive more positivity and boost your “like life,” start expressing your likes today! Explore our personal development courses to help you get more of what you want out of life. We have an array of informative courses available for streaming on Wright Now. Start getting the life you want today!

The Wright Foundation for the Realization of Human Potential is a leadership institute located in Chicago, Illinois. Wright Living performative learning programs are integrated into the curriculum at Wright Graduate University.