Emotionally Intelligent Are You?
People with high emotional intelligence live lives of greater fulfillment and happiness. Take this quiz to find out your EQ and how you can further develop.
Are you pressing the “like” button in real life?
When we hear “likes” many of us think of social media. We’re always “liking” and “sharing,” right? In fact, I bet, if you’ve spent any time on social media today, you’ve expressed a few likes already. But are those “likes” really giving you the same satisfaction as telling someone what you like in real life?
Yes, we may get a quick thrill when we see a friend liked our photo or commented on our post, but that boost is fleeting.
On the other hand, when you like something in real life, do you really express your likes? Do you speak up about it and say it? Do you ask for the things you like and actively pursue them?
If you’re looking for a deeper satisfaction than a “thumbs up” on Facebook, it may be time to explore how expressing, sharing and receiving likes from your social circle can lead to greater connections and engagement. It’s time to boost your “like” life!
Many times, when we like something our friend, coworker or partner says or does, we hold back from expressing it. Sometimes we even hold back from expressing simple likes—a movie we enjoyed, a song we like, an activity we enjoy. Why is that? It seems counter-intuitive, right?
We may fear the vulnerability that can come from expressing truth. When you express your likes, you’re opening yourself up. You’re sharing something that touched you, spoke to your emotions or struck your fancy. Stating that truth opens you up to another person coming along and saying, “What’s wrong with you. That’s stupid!”
In reality, if we enjoy something, then it shouldn’t change our opinion if another person likes it or not. Liking stems from an emotional response. There are no “bad” emotions. If someone doesn’t share your emotion, it doesn’t make your feelings any less valid.
It’s also worth noting that sometimes “dislikes” can come from fear. When someone proclaims their dislike of an activity, it may be stemming from insecurity and uncertainty. To the same end, we should be careful about what we say we don’t like, because often those reflect activities or behaviors that are not familiar to us, that we really don’t have experience with, or that are unfamiliar or strange to us. To really know what we like, we need to experiment even more to see how things truly affect us, rather than deciding ahead of time. And, perhaps if we experimented, we might actually like it!
The other reason you may hold back from expressing your likes, is simply forgetting to appreciate the moment. We forget about the power that comes from affirming and liking others. We overlook the positivity expressing likes can bring into our lives.
If you want to get more likes in your life, it’s simple. You need to put forth more likes first. When talking about likes, I’m referring to positive affirmations, compliments, pats on the back and “way to go” cheers. When we compliment someone and share positive feedback, we’re creating a connection. We’re creating a ripple effect of positivity.
The easiest way to start a conversation with a stranger? Compliment them! Now don’t just make it up, of course. Really look at them, listen to them—be present and ENGAGE with them. When this happens, you’re seeing them for who they really are. Authentic complements are powerful stuff.
When a person receives positive feedback or a “like” in real life, they instantly feel drawn to the person who gave it to them. They feel more positively toward the feedback-giver. If you want someone to like you, like them first.
Think about it–how great do you feel when a coworker tells you that you did a great job in a meeting, or they were impressed by the way you handled a situation? Yes, it’s nice to get a compliment on our hair, shoes or choice of outfit, but it’s even more fulfilling when another person notices us for our action and positive attributes.
Now, many of us may feel strange about giving affirmations to get, right? It’s not really a compliment if the intention is only to receive one back. But you see, when you’re present, engaged and in the moment, an authentic compliment comes naturally. You’re connecting with another person and they will see you truly in the light for who you are. You’re putting forth positivity and will receive positivity in return.
Not only does affirming, liking and giving out positivity bring positivity back to us, but it also simply makes us feel good. When you declare your liking for someone or something, you feel a surge of affirmation.
As you grow and start to live a life of more fulfillment, you may find yourself liking even more. The more satisfaction we have in our lives, the more we bring to us. We call this FLOW. The more fulfilled we are, the more we radiate and bring in even more positivity. You will radiate and attract more of whatever it is you want—that’s the real law of attraction.
When you tell a coworker or friend you like what they are doing, they’re more likely to do it again. Your desire, expressed through your agreement, has encouraged them to continue their behavior or way of being. On many levels, our likes create momentum in the direction we desire.
True liking reflects our deepest yearning—what nourishes and fulfills us—our yearning to be seen, to be heard, to be affirmed.
Your word has power because you are declaring a position and making a commitment. A “like”—something you like or are agreeable to—suggests you have a desire, a passion. You feel attracted to or take pleasure in someone’s actions and your “like” impacts that person.
Our agreements also hold great power. When we agree, it suggests harmony of opinion, action, or character. We strengthen the position of or increase the value of whatever we agree with. A recent study by UK and Danish neuroscientists has shown the brain’s pleasure centers light up when we are agreed with. We often influence an outcome simply by aligning to it.
Discover the power of liking and agreeing. Experiment and develop more clearly-defined preferences by agreeing in your business meetings and with your family. Let people know your likes and agreements. Show people what you like and what you agree with by using words like, “I like…” and “I agree with…”
Learn to express your preferences with employees, coworkers, family, and friends. Like and agree with things that are good for you, serve you, empower you, and fulfill you. You will be surprised at how you can reinforce movement, activities, people, and directions just by sharing what you like and agree with!
If you’re ready to receive more positivity and boost your “like life” start expressing your likes today!
For more ways to get more out of life, please visit our website. Join us for a tour, or networking event. We’re pleased to offer many of our great classes and lectures available for download as well. This is a new feature, available at a special introductory price, so don’t miss out!
Dr. Bob Wright is an internationally recognized visionary, educator, program developer, leadership and sales executive, best-selling author and speaker. He is a co-founder of Wright and the Wright Graduate University.
Liked this post and want more? Sign up for updates – free!
The Wright Foundation for the Realization of Human Potential is a leadership institute located in Chicago, Illinois. Wright Living performative learning programs are integrated into the curriculum at Wright Graduate University.