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Wright Foundation | February 10, 2022

4 Tips on How to Be Your Partner’s Best Friend

Are you wondering how to be your partner’s best friend? Their closest ally? Their sidekick?


 

Wondering how to be your partner’s best friend? Here are 4 tips to follow for an unbreakable bond and a supportive relationship connection.


 

While, of course, it’s essential that we have strong connections outside of our romantic relationships, there’s something wonderful and important about two partners who work together as a life team. When you and your partner are best friends, it feels like you’re an unbeatable dynamic duo. You have each other’s backs, and you’re pushing each other forward to reach your full potential.

Being one-half of a power couple doesn’t always happen naturally, though. Both partners need to be committed to the idea that life is about seeking more—more adventure, more discoveries, more intimacy, and more personal growth. When you’re both focused on gaining a greater sense of purpose, you’re well on your way to couple greatness!

Here are four tips to help you learn how to be your partner’s best friend today!

Why the World Loves a Power Pair

Have you ever looked at great adventure stories and wondered why we find the hero’s quest so inspiring and motivating? These stories are prevalent across every culture. There’s often a hero tasked with an epic goal in these stories, and they set out on their journey.

Think of Odysseus in the Odyssey, Luke Skywalker in Star Wars, Frodo in Lord of the Rings, or Katniss in the Hunger Games—all of these heroes faced vast challenges. They went on epic journeys, where they came face to face with realizations about themselves and the world around them.

But these heroes all share another commonality. Each of these heroes had allies. Odysseus had Athena. Luke Skywalker had Obi-Wan Kenobi. Frodo had Samwise, and Katniss relied on Peeta. In each heroic tale, there are always people who support our protagonists and help them along the way.

Allies bring out the best in each other. They help us see ourselves for who we truly are. They hold up a mirror to our potential but also call us out on those moments when we’re not pushing ourselves to be the best we could be.


True allies not only support each other when things are tough, but they also inspire and challenge their partners when all seems calm and well.


On our own journeys, our partner can be our strongest ally. When we’re in a relationship, we’re often headed in the same direction and working toward similar goals. So who better to be our companion on our life quest than our partner?

4 Ways to Be Your Partner’s Best Friend

Wondering how we can be our partner’s best friend? Here are four ways we can build up an epic connection that will take us through all the twists and turns that life has to offer.

 

1. Support Your Partner’s Vision

Every goal, journey, or plan begins with a vision. When we want to achieve something, we often envision the outcome and work toward that idea, whether it’s buying a house, getting a promotion at work, or raising children. Nothing happens without first having a picture of the desired end in our minds.

We can be our partner’s best friend by exploring their vision and aligning our goals. That doesn’t mean we all need to have the same goals as our partners, but we can discuss them to see how they overlap. How can we be an ally to our partners by supporting them to be their absolute best selves? How can we help them orient to their desired path?


We mirror the vision our partner inspires in us, and it is consistent with our own goals for ourselves. It’s not about changing our partner to our “standards,” but believing in their potential and supporting them as our partner moves in the direction of their dreams.


We often need our loved ones to activate our yearning—it’s hard to yearn for something if we don’t even know it exists or if we’ve ruled it out because of our limiting beliefs. When each party affirms their partner’s ideal self and helps them hold that vision for their personal growth, both experience more satisfaction. When one partner has an individual victory, so does their other half. Couples celebrate the wins together, and these triumphs bring them closer together.

 

2. Take Every Opportunity to Work on Your Relationship

Relationships of any sort take work, and partnerships require both sides to do their part. However, the work doesn’t need to feel like drudgery. Instead, it means that both parties are thinking of the relationship’s health, putting in the effort to improve and grow individually and together, and working to strengthen intimacy.

Working on our relationship doesn’t mean that we never fight or feel annoyed with each other. On the contrary, we can still support our partners and help them achieve their dreams, even in moments where they get under our skin. As we explore in our book, The Heart of the Fight, couple’s conflicts can actually bring us closer together and create more intimacy, as long as we’re fighting fair.

Whether we’re fighting with our significant other, playing, doing chores, or making love, every interaction provides an opportunity to grow, connect, and transform. Each time we communicate, we influence and “sculpt” each other toward something new. So ensure those interactions focus on moving the relationship forward (even if there’s a conflict).

 

3. Appreciate Your Partner (and Express It)!

Great allies appreciate each other for who they are as individuals. They express appreciation for their counterpart’s help, insight, and dedication. If we want to be great partners, we need to remind ourselves why we’re thankful for the respect, love, and assistance that our partner offers.

When we’re working with a partner, we may occasionally fall into the pattern of thinking of them as an extension of ourselves. As a result, we may take their efforts for granted or forget that they’re choosing to partner with us and work with us on our life journey.


Occasionally stepping back and acknowledging that our partner is a separate person who loves us, respects us, and is helping us move toward our goals can help us keep perspective.


Remember that even if we appreciate our partner in our hearts and minds, sometimes vocalizing that appreciation and expressing it with words can be affirming and supportive. Assume goodwill and acknowledge the good!

 

4. Work on Becoming Your Best Self

If we want to be a good ally, we need to work on becoming our best selves. The best partners are those who are focused on their personal growth as well as the growth and health of their relationship. They’re working on learning and growing both in and outside their partnership.

When we’re focused on becoming our best selves, we will bring out the best in our relationship. The more we grow, the better our relationship becomes because we’re contributing to our partner’s expanding horizons too. The more experiences we have together and on our own, the more we’ll have in front of us to explore.

Whether we’re working on new ideas, different ways of being, having novel experiences, perspectives, or knowledge, we’ll be more satisfied in our relationships when we’re more satisfied with ourselves. The great thing about working on ourselves is that we can start doing it right away, even if our partner isn’t entirely on board yet. Once they see us achieving our goals and making new discoveries, chances are they’ll want more too.

Power partnerships happen when we’re working toward goals together and separately. When we’re both curious about the world around us and viewing each new day as a chance to learn and discover new things about ourselves and each other, we’ll feel engaged, interested, and connected.

Emotional intimacy comes from partnering on the big, deep stuff, not just the day-to-day tasks and logistics. So if we want to have an epic romance, a stronger connection, and an unbreakable bond, set out on a hero’s quest together. You and your partner may discover the best friendship and allyship you never thought possible.

To learn more about connecting with your partner, exploring your best self, and achieving your career goals, don’t miss our courses at Wright Now. We have an array of classes, webinars, and resources to help you get started on your journey today!

 


judith

Wright and the Wright Graduate University.


Wright Living is a division of the Wright Foundation for the Realization of Human Potential, a leadership institute located in Chicago, Illinois. Wright Living performative learning programs are integrated into the curriculum at Wright Graduate University.

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