Month: August 2015

What is Mission-Driven Networking?

Posted on by Wright Foundation

Mission-driven communication is key to leveraging relationships, building leadership skills and networking. How many of us feel lost when trying to network at work? Maybe you have a cubicle in a corner and you feel like you’re never going to move up the ladder. Maybe you continuously feel passed over by management in conversations and at board meetings.

John Davidoff of Davidoff Mission-Driven Business Strategy has extensive experience with assisting businesses with their branding, identity and authenticity to their mission. Davidoff holds to the philosophy that all members of a company should be mission-drivers. Understanding the mission and vision of your company or organization and how it aligns with your personal mission and identity can help build your communication skills and ensure you’re being heard in all aspects of your life.

 

Find Like-Minded People

Align yourself with those who are like-minded and who share your values. As you find those people within your organization and beyond, use these commonalities to connect. You may be surprised just how small the world really is.

When you attend the classic “networking event,” approach it from a different standpoint. Rather than trying to work the room, instead try to find people who you can really connect with. Truly listen to people and find out what values you share, which people you both know, and what experiences you might have in common. Even discussing challenges that you face within your organization can be a way to open the door to further insight and truth.

Often organizations and companies see others who share their mission as competition. (With limited markets and funding these days, who wouldn’t?) But finding commonalities in your missions and ways that you can interact with each other can give both of you a boost.

 

Using Your Mission to Connect Your Team

Starting off your meetings with a reiteration of your mission can help keep all of your employees focused on the end-goal. Not only that, but teams will find energy and a renewed sense of purpose by revisiting the “why” of what you do. From a sales team to a board of directors, keeping interactions purpose-driven will give your team a deeper sense of meaning and momentum.

As our world has changed, so has our view of work. We know now that we need to be more transformative to meet the changing needs of the marketplace and our target population. We need to understand those that we are interacting with and add a personal touch and connection. We need to find our center. That purpose-driven action will drive customers towards us and set us apart from the competition.

Every employee should be clear on your mission. It should be the focus of how you hire, who you train (and who you “liberate” to find somewhere more in line with their own mission). It should be the driving force behind your interactions with clients. Help your clients find new ways to fulfill their own organizational missions and they will know that you truly understand and connect with them.

 

Leveraging Your Own Connections

So what happens if you feel like you’re on the bottom rung of the ladder? Or what do you do when you’re overlooked in other aspects of your life? Aligning your personal mission and goals with your actions helps ensure you keep every interaction focused and satisfying.

Building on your leadership skills and finding your voice will help you. You should be open to any opportunities to interact with those in roles above yours—this might mean volunteering for the next company charity event or even inquiring if a successful colleague or LinkedIn connection would be willing to meet with you for coffee or lunch to discuss your own goals and advise you on what has worked for them.

Find ways to get yourself on the radar of key people in your company. It might be as simple as offering to help set up for a meeting or volunteering to stay late to help with a big project. Consider other professional development groups and opportunities as well. Many businesses understand the importance of employee networking and communication and are more than willing to facilitate an eager team member looking to enhance their skills.

Other groups like a lunch club, book club, toastmasters or social groups can also help you build connections with coworkers and those in your field. It’s all about finding commonalities—and these “extracurricular” activities give you the opportunity to do just that.

 

Keep All Interactions Authentic

Maybe there’s someone you just aren’t clicking with. Maybe you’re shy or maybe your office or group has some under-discussed conflict that needs to be sorted out before you can really connect and be open to getting to know each other.

Oftentimes what seems to be negativity and just plain old “griping” can actually have a nugget of truth and spur major conversations and positive change. If the focus on the mission remains the organizational goal, then constructive conflict can offer growth.

If you feel there’s someone you haven’t been able to get along with or there’s someone you just don’t quite understand, first make sure you’re acting in accordance with your own values and personal mission. Then muster up your courage and address the issue directly with the person and find a way to move forward.

Keeping your eye on the prize (aka your mission) and keeping your interactions in line with your values will keep you networking and connecting with others like a pro. After all, it IS a very small world and each person offers us a little something more. Find the value in each interaction and you’ll be amazed at the connections you can make.

 

 

Join Us For More Life Training

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Wright Living is a division of the Wright Foundation for the Realization of Human Potential, a leadership institute located in Chicago, Illinois. Wright Living performative learning programs are integrated into the curriculum at Wright Graduate University.

How to Gain Feedback Without Being a Nag

Posted on by Wright Foundation

Inviting feedback about your job performance is always a good idea, but what if that feedback isn’t coming your way?

By definition, a nag is someone who asks for something over and over again. While you don’t want to nag about it, receiving input and advice is critical if you’re going to meet expectations at your job or anywhere else. The best and most efficient way to get feedback is to ask specific questions. Try asking your supervisor:

  • What is my biggest strength?
  • What is my biggest weakness?
  • If I were to change one thing about my performance, what would it be?

Be sure to be specific. These questions empower others to coach you, so you can retrieve the specific information you need to improve your performance and be more successful.

 

“What if People are Wrong About Me?”

If people aren’t taking you seriously or if you feel that the personality your coworkers have “assigned” to you is false or misleading, instead of playing the blame game, look at how you’re presenting yourself to the world and what you’re communicating about yourself in the workplace.

Perhaps something about your demeanor or attitude (such as your voice, expression, dress, or how you carry yourself) is creating an external locus of control, meaning you’re looking to others for assurance in your behaviors. Tightening your internal locus of control means people will start looking towards you to define the real you, instead. If you’re demonstrating a need for reassurance, that behavior could easily cause your colleagues to take you less seriously. Instead, define yourself.

 

Change Isn’t Easy, But We Can All Learn to Invite Feedback

Perhaps you have a hard time receiving feedback. Think about the last time you received feedback. If it rubbed you the wrong way, you may be experiencing a limiting belief associated with that feedback. Perhaps you subconsciously believe the world doesn’t want you to be powerful or that you don’t deserve respect…? These limiting beliefs can cause us to get defensive instead of accepting criticism and learning from our experiences.

Receiving feedback and implementing change isn’t all about what you do and how you present yourself externally. It’s also an ongoing developmental task—living up to your next, more radiant self.

Focusing on what new behavior will replace each old behavior enables us to be more empowered and focused. So you’re not going to “nag” less—instead, you’re going to learn to communicate more effectively.

So invite feedback and embrace the responses you receive to learn and grow more each day—and to be more successful at work.

 

Listen to this episode here on BlogTalkRadio or here on iTunes.
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Blog post image courtesy: Flickr user cogdog.

 

Learn more about Wright Living’s Career & Leadership Coaching in Chicago & Career Coaching Courses in Chicago.

Wright Living is a division of the Wright Foundation for the Realization of Human Potential, a leadership institute located in Chicago, Illinois. Wright Living performative learning programs are integrated into the curriculum at Wright Graduate University.

3 Self Changes You Might Experience After a Breakup

Posted on by Wright Team

Going through a breakup isn’t easy for anyone; even if a split is amicable, the time immediately afterward can be a whirlwind. Breakups are tough!


 

Strong neural pathways we’ve formed during the relationship that have resulted in expectations like support and nourishing touch from that person must now be reformed and rewired—and that can take a very long time.

Though painful, breakups can present a chance to learn, explore and grow. You might notice you’re making some big changes to help yourself recover and regain your footing. Let’s explore some of these changes you may experience.

1. You’re Experiencing a Commitment to Transformation

Many of us are eager to transform ourselves with a new hairstyle or a few cute outfits in an effort to tell ourselves, “I’m still okay and I’m still attractive to others.” On one hand, this is a positive state to be in: you want to look and feel your best, and to bring your best self to the world. That’s totally ok. You’re worth it! However, this effort to reinvent ourselves may actually be an effort to shield ourselves from tough emotions, rather than address them head on.

Some questions to ask yourself: Am I transforming my appearance in an effort to self-regulate, move on, and represent the “me” I want to bring to the world? Am I trying to look good for me, or for other people? What about these image changes makes me feel great/makes me feel not-so-great? Asking these questions ensures you’re being honest with yourself about your mental state and where you are in the healing process.

2. You’re Dating…Everyone!

After a breakup, try not to be too hasty or eager to grab onto someone else for emotional connection. Instead, ask yourself: What do I want my life to be and what kind of person do I really want to be with? What are my deal-breakers? Make an inventory on paper of what matters most to you in a relationship and then analyze it. Decide what matters most to you before looking for someone else.

But hey—it’s ok to date around! Your job isn’t to find a new relationship right away—it’s to date and discover yourself and other people. Take some time off for reflection and then get back out there. Find your best method for meeting a person with those qualities you desire. (There’s a big difference between hopping on Tinder and bumping into an interesting person at book club.)

3. You’re Obsessing Over Time

Breakups can often feel frustrating because many people feel that they were “wasting time” by being with someone for a period of time—only to have the relationship come to an end. In addition, it’s also easy to question yourself and your future, asking the universe, “When will I finally meet ‘the one’?”

Well, there’s no such thing as wasting time in the romantic world. There’s something to be learned from each date and every relationship—regardless of how long it lasts. We learn about ourselves and what really matters to us in a life partner. These teachable moments are priceless in our growth and development.

There simply isn’t a set date for when you’ll meet the perfect guy or girl. “The one” doesn’t exist, only “the one” who works best with us and for us.

You may already be emotionally vulnerable after your breakup—so don’t obsess over finding someone fast. Instead, allow yourself to heal, learn and grow and then focus on exploring just who’s out there. It could take one date or 50, but you’ll certainly learn and grow in the process.

If you want to learn how to best handle the curve balls life throws your way, visit Wright Now. We offer resources to help you discover more about yourself, your relationships, and your career. Visit us today!

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Monica
Monica is the Admissions Coordinator and Marketing Specialist at the Wright Graduate University. As the admissions coordinator and head of marketing for WGU, Monica oversees recruiting, student admissions, customer services and marketing efforts.

Blog post image courtesy: Flickr user jinterwas.

The Wright Foundation for the Realization of Human Potential is a leadership institute located in Chicago, Illinois. Wright Living performative learning programs are integrated into the curriculum at Wright Graduate University.

“It’s Not My Fault!” …Dealing with Office Drama

Posted on by Wright Foundation

Many Americans have come to expect drama at the office, whether it’s a clique-like atmosphere among coworkers or colleagues blaming each other for their mistakes.

office drama

Many Americans have come to expect drama at the office, whether it’s a clique-like atmosphere among coworkers or colleagues blaming each other for their mistakes. Oftentimes, personal issues can cloud the judgment of an employee who feels hurt or threatened by a colleague, leading to bigger problems that affect everyone’s ability to do their jobs.

For example, perhaps your officemate Carol is involved with drama with Adam in the estimating department—and now Adam is putting Carol’s work off just to get back at her. So how do we engage with our coworkers like responsible adults and set aside all the office drama once and for all?

Look at the Roles of Each Person in Conflict

We’re always transacting, or interacting, with each other in the same ways we learned growing up. We’re either a responsible adult, a rebellious child facing a controlling parent, or a controlling parent resisting the “child’s” rebellion (this idea is based on the Transactional Analysis theory by Eric Berne). This comes from our learned behaviors when we were kids, as childhood emotions can return in adulthood. In the situation of Carol and Adam, Carol may be acting as a controlling parent by telling Adam how to do his job; therefore, Adam rebels against her in a childlike way by avoiding his work on purpose.

Responsible adults use their critical thinking skills and directly let people know what they want and negotiate for it. If Carol had used positive communication skills to let Adam know precisely what she needed on the estimate, he may have reacted a different way.

When engaging in irresponsible behavior, people are manipulative and feeling sorry for themselves, perhaps blaming others and building unfinished business instead of dealing with each issue as it comes along.

Pay attention to the different roles in your dramatic office scenario, then react responsibly and accordingly.

The Dreaded Drama Triangle

When it comes to office drama, most cases involve someone feeling victimized. Every Victim has a Persecutor and each Victim/Persecutor team has a Rescuer. This is called “the drama triangle,” a model for interaction by Stephen Karpman. The drama triangle is not only inefficient, it can also lead colleagues down a dangerous path. Every office has its Rescuer: the person in charge of explaining the authority figure to the victim. At first it seems nice, but then you realize that this person is inserting themselves between the two people who are really in conflict.

Issues of power differential may lead to problems, so a key element to success is recognizing your place and submitting to authority in the company hierarchy. Deal with issues directly and avoid the drama triangle. Always work to help the company move towards its mission and goals through your own work.

What Does a Drama-Free Office Look Like?

The most successful workplaces contain responsible adults engaging with each other towards the common focus and purpose of the company overall. People own their jobs, take responsibility, and do not blame others for issues. Employees care for each other and want to help them succeed, not put them down for their own gain.

Ask your colleagues what the perfect, drama-free workplace would look like. Maybe they’ve never even considered the possibility! Find out what your ideal office looks like as a team and create a shared vision of prosperity and peace.

Will My Work Life Ever Be Drama-Free?

Even the best, drama-free offices will have a few snags here and there. No one is perfect and we all have those days when we take a criticism personally and allow our minds to travel back to earlier aggressions. People gossip whether they admit it or not, but the chain can be stopped.

Focus on your goals and visions and encourage others to do the same. Even colleagues who appear to adore drama need to step up for the company as a whole. This doesn’t mean they have to go—instead, they need to be heard…and understood.

Join Us For More Life Training

In one educational and inspiring weekend, you’ll learn all about our practical, down-to-earth, easy-to-follow program designed to jumpstart your journey to self-discovery, personal fulfillment and better interpersonal relationships.
 

Listen to this episode here on BlogTalkRadio or here on iTunes.
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Blog post image courtesy: Flickr user trawin.

 

Learn more about Wright Living’s Career & Leadership Coaching in Chicago & Career Coaching Courses in Chicago.

Wright Living is a division of the Wright Foundation for the Realization of Human Potential, a leadership institute located in Chicago, Illinois. Wright Living performative learning programs are integrated into the curriculum at Wright Graduate University.

5 Common Relationship Wreckers

Posted on by Wright Foundation

Engaging in a fulfilling, meaningful and deeply satisfying relationship with your significant other is easier than you think. So why do so many relationships go south?

Lying, relying on the other person for our own happiness, and playing the blame game are just a few reasons. Let’s explore 5 common (and definitely avoidable) relationship wreckers.

All couples fight—but how you fight can determine the success of your relationship. You can learn more about having the best relationship you’ve ever dreamed of in our forthcoming book: The Heart of The Fight. It’s our couple’s guide to 15 common fights, what they really mean, and how they can bring you closer together. (Now available on Amazon.)

 

#1: You’re Lying

Lying is never a good idea, regardless of intentions. In relationships, there are two types of lies. Overt lies are direct lies that are obviously not true. For example, saying you were at the gym when you really went somewhere else. Covert lies are when you don’t tell your partner something they should know, usually involving your feelings or activities. Some people believe covert lies aren’t serious because they think omitting information isn’t the same as bending the truth. Same goes for “little white lies.”

Lying is a bad idea. Period. So if there’s a reason you aren’t telling your partner something, it may be a good idea to reflect on that to figure out why. Honesty is always the best policy and trust should never be taken lightly.

 

#2: You’re Not Taking 100% Personal Responsibility for Your Own Satisfaction

We often assume we’ll someday find “the one”—a magical person; the only one in the world who can make us truly happy. Unfortunately, studies show that people who believe in soulmates tend to have less successful marriages.

Instead, we must take 100% responsibility for our own happiness. This means that “the one” isn’t one person you simply need to find—instead, it’s the partner you choose to be with. Two people who create their own happiness develop a synergistic relationship, where both people support and nourish the other’s growth and learning. But when they start depending on one another for satisfaction or recognition, that’s when the cookie starts to crumble. It’s not your partner’s job to “make” you feel good or affirmed—that’s up to you.

 

#3: You’re Playing the Blame Game

The “rules of engagement” are a set of ideals that ensure a balanced and rewarding coupling. The first rule was already discussed: we are all responsible for 100% of our own happiness and satisfaction. The second rule has to do with conflict.

When practicing conflict resolution, no one gets more than 50% of the blame or responsibility for the issue at hand. Even if you feel your spouse is the problem in your relationship, you have to own up to how you could help improve the situation. When partners are equal stakeholders in all areas of the relationship, it makes for a better overall team.

 

#4: You’re Focusing on the Bad Parts of Your Fights—Instead of Learning

Arguments with your significant other are never pleasant, but they are necessary (at least most of the time). All couples fight. It’s part of life. But, while people often disagree, it’s how they handle that disagreement that shows their maturity and emotional intelligence.

During a fight, always look for learning opportunities. If your partner is upset with you for not paying attention when they’re explaining something, own the behavior and analyze whether you do this with others as well. Perhaps your partner feels they need to be heard to feel nourished. This is something you can help support without taking their happiness into your own hands. (Remember the rules of engagement!)

 

#5: You’re Stuck in the Drama Triangle

The drama triangle, a model for interaction by Stephen Karpman, is quite common in many areas of life, from work to relationships to family dynamics. Within the triangle, there is one person (the Victim) who feels victimized by the other, known as the Persecutor. To complete the drama triangle, there is usually a Rescuer; this is someone who inserts themselves into the situation to try to appease the people involved while trying to help them solve the problem. Unfortunately, even if their intentions are good, Rescuers only complicate the situation.

Instead, the Victim and the Persecutor need to own the issue at hand and their roles within it, minus the outsider perspective. Deal with these conflicts directly and with each other. When you follow the rules of engagement, you may be surprised how much closer you’ll actually become.

 

“Are ALL My Relationships Doomed?”

Absolutely not! Sure, couples break up for many reasons, but some many of the most common problems can be avoided by following the rules of engagement and allowing for nourishment and personal growth for both you and your partner. Avoid lies and drama triangles while at the same time supporting your significant other in their life pursuits. Own your happiness and personal satisfaction and create a team mentality with your partner to bring out the best in both of you, and to be the best couple you can be.

 

Join Us For More Life Training

In one educational and inspiring weekend, you’ll learn all about our practical, down-to-earth, easy-to-follow program designed to jumpstart your journey to self-discovery, personal fulfillment, and better interpersonal relationships.

 

Listen to this episode here on BlogTalkRadio or here on iTunes.
Check Out Lifestyle Podcasts at BlogTalkRadio with Wright Living on BlogTalkRadio.

Blog post image courtesy: Flickr user katietegtmeyer.

 

Wright Living is a division of the Wright Foundation for the Realization of Human Potential, a leadership institute located in Chicago, Illinois. Wright Living performative learning programs are integrated into the curriculum at Wright Graduate University.

How to Win Over Your Boss

Posted on by Wright Foundation

While you probably want your boss to like you, the office hierarchy isn’t a popularity contest. So if you’re only interested in kissing butt, you’re probably not fully engaged in your job.

“Winning over your boss” isn’t about getting someone to like you or to think you’re cool. (This isn’t high school.)

Instead, satisfaction at work is all about bringing your best, most authentic self to work every day. It’s about working hard toward your company’s goals and in line with your company’s purpose and mission. It’s about showing you care about your company’s success. Achieve this level of engagement and you’re sure to “win over” your boss.

Here’s how…

Learn More About Your Boss Instead of Sucking Up

Your boss should have the company’s goals in mind—as should you. Ask yourself: Is my manager someone I respect? That’s more important than anything. (Plus, you need to respect and trust yourself as well.) Take the time to listen and learn about your how your boss is working to further your company. How can you support those goals?

Are you concerned about the success of the company and the people around you—including the success of your boss? It’s that higher purpose that brings you into a relationship with your boss—so use your time well, learn and engage, and push yourself and your team towards the greater good. When you have the best interests of the company and your fellow employees (including your boss) in mind, everyone will appreciate you and your contributions more.

 

What Do I Do When I Get a New Boss?

When beginning a new position or role in a company, it’s important to understand just how you fit into your role and into the office hierarchy. Figure out all the details before becoming an employee, supervisor, boss or partner. Ensure your duties and place are made clear.

If traveling to a new town for work, start to line up contacts and network before arriving to hit the ground running and bring your new company business immediately. You’ll leave a lasting impression on your boss as your actions will show commitment and gumption. Remember to align yourself with your boss: winning over your boss is more about trust than anything else.

 

What If My Boss Doesn’t Even Know I Exist?

If your boss doesn’t seem to remember you (or can’t remember your name), work harder and take the time to speak with directly to your boss more often. Work to ensure your boss knows your name and what you’re all about. Affirm your goals within the company and demonstrate how you’re working toward the greater good.

But also be sure you always listen to what your boss has to say. Find out how things are going and what they want you to do differently. Do your best to show your true intentions—you’ll show you’re fully engaged within your job and ready to do whatever it takes to fulfill the company’s purpose and mission.

 

Don’t Kiss Up…BE KNOWN

A career isn’t about sitting at the cool-kids table at lunch or getting your superiors to like you the most. It’s about your actions and what you’re doing to help better both your company and yourself.

People who tend to schmooze may be well-known, but is it for the right reasons? It’s ok to be vocal about your goals and ambitions, but actions speak louder than words. Be your best at all times and communicate openly with your boss—it’s better to be invaluable than popular.

 

Join Us For More Life Training

In one educational and inspiring weekend, you’ll learn all about our practical, down-to-earth, easy-to-follow program designed to jumpstart your journey to self-discovery, personal fulfillment and better interpersonal relationships.

Listen to this episode here on BlogTalkRadio or here on iTunes.
Check Out Lifestyle Podcasts at BlogTalkRadio with Wright Living on BlogTalkRadio.

Blog post image courtesy: Flickr user vuhung.

 

Learn more about Wright Living’s Career & Leadership Coaching in Chicago & Career Coaching Courses in Chicago.

Wright Living is a division of the Wright Foundation for the Realization of Human Potential, a leadership institute located in Chicago, Illinois. Wright Living performative learning programs are integrated into the curriculum at Wright Graduate University.