Admit it or not, we all see greater self-acceptance – sociopaths excluded. At Wright, we see this as one of the key challenges of adulthood.
Each of us has a self that has been defined by our world. We see this definition by others as childhood. It is highlighted in our affirmation and hunger stage which corresponds roughly to Freud’s narcissistic period (I am the center of my universe). For our purposes, we see this as at its height between six months and 24 months of age, but the process really is going on throughout our lives. We accept ourselves to the extent we are accurately seen in the here and now, accurately, consistently, and unconditionally. Some of us had very little of this and none of us had it all the time. From our point of view, humanity is not ready to accept all of itself. The Jungians refer to it as the shadow or Freudians sometimes refer to it as the denied self. These are the parts that were not seen with positive regard and were submerged. I cannot go into those of us who have identified ourselves as what others see as shadow self, for example, angry versus those for whom anger is a function of the denied self.
In short, we are like love sponges seeking to be accurately seen in the here and now as loveable and acceptable, but parts of us were not. So, we learn to deny many of these. From our perspective, adulthood is a time to reclaim these shadow or denied parts of ourselves and reclaim them by taking responsibility to provide the accurate positive regard what was missing in childhood that led to our denial of these aspects of ourselves. You will note that I have dropped off with positive regard, consistently and unconditionally. I have done so because it is simply too much for this discussion.
For now, I am seeking to simply point out that in our childhood development, we deny certain parts of who we really are until adulthood
In contrast, we believe that adulthood is a time to reclaim our denied or shadow selves. You can think of this as learning self-acceptance, learning to accurately see ourselves in the here and now with positive regard consistently and unconditionally. The benefit of this is a mature capacity to establish high-quality rapport with the highest number of others.
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Wright Living is a division of the Wright Foundation for the Realization of Human Potential, a leadership institute located in Chicago, Illinois. Wright Living performative learning programs are integrated into the curriculum at Wright Graduate University.
When choosing a career, a clear One Decision, let’s say that it has to do with leading a life of integrity. Let’s look at which job provides the greatest opportunity for us to learn integrity. Maybe learning and growing is my One Decision. So when we make a career choice, we ask ourselves just that. When we’re interviewing for a job, we ask our potential employers questions about their values. How do they make decisions in their business? How do they know they’re making choices that are from a higher value? Then once we have the job, we make good choices because choices are happening all the time at work and in our careers. We’re choosing to speak or not speak, to work hard or to not work hard, what matters or doesn’t matter. 
Do people feel you or are you hiding out in meetings? A clear One Decision can help you make a choice to speak up and it’ll cause you to make more good choices–they’re not all going to be great, but you’ll be much much happier in doing that. One of the things you can do is write your One Decision down and reflect each morning. How do I want to live my day today? And you can journal what you did that day and how you did things that day to embark on a life driven by your One Decision.
